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The Champagne of Blogs (21 unread)

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/27/Fresh_Hop_Homebrew__7_Survival_Tips'

    Fresh Hop Homebrew: 7 Survival Tips

    Posted: September 27th, 2008, 8:28pm CEST by Thom

    Thom Picking Fresh Hops

    As the days get shorter and the hop cones start to weigh down your vines, it’s time to plan your fresh hop homebrew. A few tips from the woefully ill-informed and hungover.

    Fresh Hop Pouring

    Just to set the scene: We met over at Dave’s, since he has the most mature vines. We also made the second voyage of the converted-keg, all-grain homebrew set up. The false-bottomed all-grain was our brilliant downfall.

    Tip 1: Bag the fresh hops. Unless you have some brilliant method for avoiding the stuck run-off, (Yes, we had a false bottom. Yes, we tried stirring.) the fresh cones come apart and clog your drain. We ended up pouring it out of the top of the keg into the carboy, which was pretty lame, messy, and probably unsanitary. If you DO know how to let the cones swim free in the false-bottom keg conversion without causing a clog, please leave us a comment below. Seriously.

    Stuck!

    Tip 2: Pace your drinking anytime you’re brewing all-grain. Extract brewing takes what? Two hours? With all-grain, you could be out there six hours or so. Mix in some highly potent homebrew and archive beers, and when those hops get stuck, you’ll be in no frame of mind to figure a smart solution.

    Tip 3: Don’t plan anything for the next morning. I think this tip comes from Dave.

    Tip 4: Don’t talk politics, especially at the end of the night.

    Tip 5: Don’t be afraid of the canned bacon. As the fresh-hop homebrew festival fell at the end of Bacon Week, we sampled:

    Tip 6: Do be very, very afraid of the intestinal aftermath of combining lots of homebrew, BBQ bacon, BLTs, bacon burgers, bacon brittle, bacon cookies, and canned bacon. Be prepared to sleep on the couch.

    BBQ Bacon Grease Fire

    Tip 7: Do not use homebrew to put out a BBQ bacon grease fire.

    Tip 8: Use the mostly green hops. The scent was not as hoppy as I would’ve expected considering we picked and dropped fresh hops into the boil for nearly the full hour. What type of hops were they? If you know how to identify hops, please call us. Operators are standing by.

    In all, another great day in Dave’s backyard. I believe the girls from FU Cheese even made a cheese press in Dave’s woodshop, but that tale will have to wait for another day.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/20/Budweiser_American_Ale_vs._Budweiser_Lager'

    Budweiser American Ale vs. Budweiser Lager

    Posted: September 20th, 2008, 6:02pm CEST by Dave

    At a going-away party for a co-worker last night, I found myself at a sports bar in the pearl district whose name rhymes with “Schlitz.” It’s not my favorite place in the world, but they do have a lot of cheap bar games (plastic darts, pool, shuffleboard, air hockey, etc), which makes it great for big groups and office parties. Their beer selection is a bit lacking, though they do carry Lagunitas IPA, so I’m usually fine.

    American Ale on Tap at Blitz

    This trip, I spotted something unusual amidst their already-limited macro-ish taps: Budweiser’s new American Ale. The things I do for science …

    Me Holding American Ale from Budweiser

    I’m no Bud-hater, but I’m not a lover, either. I drank a lot of Budweiser in high school and college, and still reach for one in certain situations. It’s more flavorful than its “lite” counterparts, and it brings some nostalgia along with it. Still, I have developed a reputation as a beer snob around the office, and this wasn’t the only picture taken of me swilling a macro.

    How’d it taste? Like Bud, but Bud-ier. I actually got a Bud bottle for comparison’s sake. The lager was more effervescent, and certainly lighter in color, which you could tell even through its brown bottle. The American Ale was a bit less carbonated, fuller bodied, and definitely left a hop-ish finish in my mouth, which the lager has never done.

    Budweiser American Ale vs. Budweiser Lager

    I read some books when I was a kid about a boy named “Homer Price” that were amazingly-illustrated and full of fun. In one story, someone brings an automatic doughnut-making machine to town, and it runs amok, making WAY too many doughnuts. In the one that I loved best, a salesman comes to town selling vials of a product called “Ever So Much More So.” The idea is that you sprinkle a bit of it on things you already like, and it makes them taste like that, but ever so much more so. That’s what American Ale is like to me: it’s Bud, but Ever So Much More So. More flavorful, more deeply colored, and thicker. But it’s still Bud.

    Homer Price and the Doughnut Machine

    I would drink both beers again, but I’d be less likely to seek out the American Ale than I would the Bud lager. There are too many other ales widely available that I’d prefer (even Fat Tire) to this one. But Bud is … well … Bud. Always has been. Always will be.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/15/Bacon_Week__Link_Roundup'

    Bacon Week: Link Roundup

    Posted: September 15th, 2008, 10:09pm CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    It’s kind of hard to believe it’s all over. We’ve spent the last 7 days of celebrating (and savoring) the candy of meats: we tried bacon candy, chocolate-covered bacon, bacon mints, and bacon-flavored jelly beans.

    It wasn’t all sweet: fake bacon turns out to be a horrible, horrible invention, and we must be missing something when it comes to the bacon bra.

    Bacon doughnuts were universally well-liked, as were bacon bandages, but I think the “bacon beer“, bacon wallet and bacon air freshener could go either way.

    Canned bacon was the big surprise winner; I think everyone thought it would be horrible, but it was surprisingly tasty, as was the Baconator (for a fast food burger, anyway).

    Bacon salt testing was a bit inconclusive. It was delicious on bland Russian dumplings, but too much for the subtle beauty of stovetop popcorn.

    We had a few celebrities drop by: Sara Perry, author of the Everything Tastes Better with Bacon cookbook did an e-mail interview, as did the National Pork Board.

    I know it may seem that we’ve exhausted the rich vein that is bacon, but there is so much left to do! I still have more than 20 products, links and recipes to share! In fact, I just found another one this morning, and the links keep coming! Mark your calendars for Bacon Week 2009 …

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/15/Bacon_Week__Everything_Tastes_Better_With_Bacon_Cookbook'

    Bacon Week: Everything Tastes Better With Bacon Cookbook

    Posted: September 15th, 2008, 5:36am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    At our house, bacon is more than just a main dish for Sunday breakfast … it’s a condiment, a flavor enhancer, a cooking partner, and yes, a way of life. Fact is, there are few food situations that aren’t improved by the addition of bacon. Salads become treasure hunts with a little bacon. Burgers are really only complete when topped with a couple slices of salty goodness. And, as we’ve seen this week, sometimes even dessert is better with bacon.

    Everything Tastes Better with Bacon

    Author Sara Perry took this belief to the extreme in 2002 when she authored one of my favorite cookbooks, the truthfully-titled Everything Tastes Better With Bacon. Inside its pages, Perry has created some unbelievable recipes that feature bacon as a central ingredient, but also as a savory flavor enhancer in a supporting role. There’s a fantastic meatloaf recipe (drape 3 slices of par-cooked bacon over the loaf while it bakes), a great halibut dish where the fish is cooked in parchment paper, and my personal favorite, Sizzling Herb Pasta with White Beans and Crisp Smoked Bacon.

    Bacon Brittle

    This week, I tried two new recipes from the book that further reinforced my admiration for Sara Perry, one for Try-It-You’ll-Like-It Bacon Brittle (above), and another for Double-Crunch Peanut Butter Cookies (below) that actually used pieces of bacon brittle inside, in addition to a healthy dose of crunchy peanut butter. Both turned out fabulously, and well-balanced. There’s a bit of bacon present in both, but not in a starring role.

    Double-Crunch Peanut Butter Bacon Cookies

    Through the magic of the internet, I was able to reach out to Sara, and she was kind enough to participate in an e-mail interview about bacon, cookbooks and bacon cookbooks, included below.

    The Champagne of Blogs: Tea, Coffee, Cakes, Kids … BACON. One of these things is not like the other … How did you decide to do the bacon cookbook?

    Sara Perry: Hmmm, which one? They’re all my guilty pleasures! The decision was easy … my Chronicle editor made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

    Truth be told: Bill LeBlond called me one day and asked if I was sitting down. “I have an idea for a book, but I know it’s going to sound odd.” So, when he told me bacon, I agreed. “Think about it,” he says. “Doesn’t everything taste better with bacon?” Could I argue? He’d been having lunch with a chef in San Francisco and the topic came up and the idea was born. I agreed, and since I LOVE bacon, I thought it would be a kick, but the only problem was a dessert chapter. “Oh, you’ll think of something,” said Bill.

    It took awhile, but I immediately went back to my favorite sweet, porky taste . . . .the covering of a Honey Baked Ham. That brown sugary, salty, crunchy flavor was so adaptable and a chapter was born.

    TCOB: Preparing the book, I’m sure you’ve sampled quite a few. What’s your favorite bacon?

    SP: Good question. I go back to guilty pleasures here. Do you have any? Like, for instance, chocolate. Sure I love the very best, but put a cheap, chocolate-coated malted milk ball in front of me and I’ll jump you for it! So, as long as the bacon is meaty … good ratio of meat to fat; is fresh and is cooked RIGHT, I’ll snag it. When I was testing for the book, I enjoyed each and every sample I tried. I know there’s criticism out there about Neuske’s applewood bacon being too smoky (or something), but I really enjoy it. Believe it or not, Hormel makes an excellent thick-sliced bacon, but it’s only available to professional chefs. The guy at The Grateful Palate has a Bacon on the Month club that has lots of tasty delicious choices. OH WAIT. There is one kind of bacon I do not like. Period. That’s the ready to microwave bacon. One word for it: Cardboard facsimile with flavors imported straight from the New Jersey “aromatic” distilleries (not really, but it seems that way to me).

    TCOB: What’s the weirdest bacon-related thing you’ve ever seen?

    SP: Bacon Band-aids.

    TCOB: Why do you think bacon has achieved such notoriety/infamy? What has it got that ham/prosciutto/jerky doesn’t?

    SP: I go back to my book for this one: I think bacon did have a career slump, but now it’s entering it’s renaissance and it’s about time. Previously disgraced as a fat, preservative-laden meat, bacon now offers many healthier options. It’s learner; it’s tastier; and you can find it free of chemicals. Artisan-style farms are raising pigs without hormones or antibiotics and they’re producing natural organic bacons that satisfy an appetite for old-fashioned flavor.

    Cooks have always known hat bacon adds shadowy richness, earthy fragrance and subtle nuance to elegant entrees and everyday comfort food. That’s because bacon has two humble but charismatic ingredients: salt and fat. Salt brings out the flavor and fat carries the flavor to our taste buds. BUT not only that: Bacon has bite! It’s chewy and crunch. Savory. Slightly sweet, and damn habit-forming.

    To answer the second half of the question. It has a name. A familiarity to every American kid who ever woke up to the smell of it cooking in the skillet.

    TCOB: Ever tried making your own bacon?

    SP: When I wrote my first book, “The Complete Coffee Book, I tried roasting my own coffee. Over and over again. Never was very good at it, but I learned a valuable lesson. Leave it to the folks who have a passion for creating the food we love to eat. That goes for bacon too!

    Okay, so what’s the best way to cook bacon???? SLOWLY. For crisp, as-you-like-it bacon, nothing beats cooking it in a cold cast-iron skillet. It’s also the best way to enjoy the delicious aroma? (Recall your first memory of bacon?) Mine is that rise-and-shine smell of weekend bacon on the stove. Bottom line: With a top-quality bacon, use a cold, heavy skillet; it’s the only way.

    In a skillet large enough to hold the slices in a single layer, arrange the slices and cook over medium-low heat. Doest that seem too low? Are you used to hot bacon fat spitting a you? No more. Cooking bacon at a low temperature prevents shrinking, curling, and uneven cooking. It’s time to say “so long” to roller-coaster bacon blackened on the crest and barely cooking on the downhill.

    ONE LAST SERMON: Whether you enjoy it by the pound or parcel it out by the slice, you probably think it’s really fattening. Here’s the skinny: One uncooked, meat-streaked bacon slice (a little less than an ounce) has 126 calories and 24% fat. Obviously, a lot of fat melts AWAY during cooking. That same piece COOKED has 36 calories and about 6% fat. Pretty good, huh? Sure, the values change depending on the leanness of your bacon and remember, if you use uncooked bacon in a stew or other dish, the fat has not been removed in the cooking process. CHEERS!

    TCOB: Thanks, Sara. Bacon rocks, and so do you!

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/14/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Air_Freshener'

    Bacon Week: Bacon Air Freshener

    Posted: September 14th, 2008, 10:07pm CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    My friend and co-worker, Marci (aka Marci the Vegan Marathonner) bought me some bacon-themed gifts a few months ago, which was at least part of the inspiration for this week of bacon and bacon-related products. One of these products was a bacon air freshener. For cars. But as I write this, I wonder … wouldn’t an aerosol spray version be amazing? Screw Febreeze with their “fresh” scent - when someone stinks up the bathroom at work, we could cover it up with a delicious bacon scent. The smell of fresh-cooked bacon, wherever you want it. Spray it in the kitchen in the morning, and make everyone in your house think there was a bacon breakfast coming … such a cruel, cruel trick. The psychological power you’d wield … But I digress.

    Packaging for Bacon Air Freshener

    I think like a lot of bacon products, the packaging may be the best part of this product. The multi-lingual label is great in its optimism: as if anyone other than an American would be silly enough to buy this product. Although, the Europeans do appear to support not one, but TWO brands of bacon-flavored potato chips, so I could be wrong.

    As air fresheners go, this is a well-made one, with nice, photo-quality bacon. It just looks good hanging in your car.

    Bacon-Scented Air Freshener For Your Car

    How does it smell? Not very bacon-y, to be honest. It’s got a savory smell to it, for sure, though I would call it generically meat-scented, and not anything I’d call specifically bacon-smelling. It has just a hint of smoke, but it does provoke a hunger response. Driving to work one day last week, I got some hunger pangs when I got in my car at the end of the day, but I wasn’t craving bacon (any more than I usually do, which is pretty often) in particular.

    I did have a funny experience driving TO work, though … As I pulled onto Glisan, I noticed I was directly behind an ambulance. I think they should have been following me, though!

    Chasing an Ambulance With a Bacon Air Freshener

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/14/Bacon_Week__Canned_Bacon'

    Bacon Week: Canned Bacon

    Posted: September 14th, 2008, 8:30pm CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    Yeah, that was pretty much my initial reaction to this product, too. Gross. I drifted away, thinking of the worst examples of the canned meat kingdom: potted meat, Vienna sausage, canned ham, and of course, SPAM.

    Opening a Can of Yoder’s Canned Bacon

    Astute reader Joel sent me a link Monday to one of the most frightening web sites I think I’ve ever visited, with the certain exception of one Nate sent me last week (link withheld). MREDepot.com sells preparedness supplies (MRE stands for “Meal Ready to Eat” in army lingo), and does so with a wee bit of bravado and the ominous-sounding tagline “When disaster strikes, the time to prepare has passed …” Their customer service is, however, excellent. I ordered this product on Tuesday morning, and it was in my hands on Friday (I was too cheap to spring for express shipping), having shipped the day I ordered it. That’s the kind of preparedness I can get behind.

    We had a few people over to brew beer yesterday, which provided me the opportunity to spring Yoder’s Canned Bacon on some unsuspecting friends, that is until Sarah put the kibosh on it. The guests and Sarah received some excellent farmer’s market bacon for their backyard BLT’s, while I went for the canned stuff. The things I do in the name of science …

    Under the Lid Hides … Bacon

    The MREDepot.com site has gratuitous photos of the unpacking process, so I’ll cut to the chase … basically the good folks at Yoder’s take 3 pounds of raw bacon, cook it, put it down on three sheets of butcher paper, roll the paper up, and stick it in a can. When you open the can, you do the opposite process: open can, remove rolled bacon, unroll, and remove from the paper. No aspic, no gross bacon juice to pour off, just bacon and paper inside (cue Intel sound).

    Unrolling the Yoder’s Bacon

    Beyond the very odd presentation, it was actually pretty good bacon. Way better than fast-food bacon, but not as good as rolling your own homemade bacon. Being in a can, it wasn’t crispy or warm, but a few minutes in a skillet would probably bring it up to the “delicious” category. This is legit bacon, from a can, and if the apocalypse comes, I would totally eat this again.

    Canned bacon on the plate

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/13/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Facts'

    Bacon Week: Bacon Facts

    Posted: September 13th, 2008, 7:28am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    Kicking off Bacon Week, I spent a little time in front of the meat case at my local grocer, trying to see things with fresh eyes. What I saw was choice, and lots of it. There’s Turkey bacon (hardly bacon), smoked bacon, unsmoked bacon, cured and uncured bacon, nitrate-free bacon … it can be a little confusing. So, I asked the good folks at the National Pork Board if they’d provide some bacon guidance, and Cathy Lee Frederickson, their Online Content Manager, was kind enough to do an e-mail interview with The Champagne of Blogs.

    The Champagne of Blogs: There’s a lot of terminology at the butcher counter when it comes to bacon. What is bacon exactly?

    National Pork Board: The cut used to make bacon comes from the side - or belly - of the pig. When it is cured and smoked, it becomes bacon. An abundance of fat gives bacon its sweet flavor and tender crispiness.

    Please note that Canadian bacon is in fact cured pork loin. It is an extremely lean choice, with only 2 grams of fat per slice. The taste and texture of Canadian bacon is similar to ham.

    TCOB: What’s the difference between cured and uncured bacon? Smoked/unsmoked?

    NPB: Pork belly comes from a hog’s ‘belly’ or underside after the loin and spareribs have been removed. This boneless cut may be served fresh, which means it is not cured or smoked. Pork belly is not widely available in supermarkets, but can be ordered by meatcase managers upon request. Pork belly is at its best and is most tender when prepared using a slow cooking method, such as braising. Pork belly also is a popular menu item among restaurant chefs who appreciate its versatility, flavor and texture.

    Bacon is side meat that is cured and smoked.

    Pancetta is also cut from the belly - like bacon - but is cured and unsmoked. Pancetta is when pork belly is rubbed with salt or immersed in a brine until the salt completely penetrates the meat. Then the meat is rubbed with aromatic herbs and spices. It is eaten thinly sliced as a cold cut or used to enhance flavor.

    TCOB: How long can fresh bacon be kept in the fridge? How long can cooked bacon be kept?

    NPB: For packaged bacon, store in the package in the coldest part of the refrigerator at a temperature between 36 and 40 degrees F. Check the freshness date (“open by date”) on the package. Once the package is opened, use within five to seven days.

    To freeze bacon, unopened packaged bacon should be stored at 0 degrees F. for up to one month. To store smaller amounts, wrap two to six slices tightly in plastic wrap, then store in small freezer bags. Defrost by submerging the freezer bags in cold water for 10 minutes.

    Generally, cooked pork should only be kept in the refrigerator for 4-5 days.

    TCOB: As you have probably witnessed, bacon has become something of a cultural obsession in the US. Why do you think bacon has achieved such notoriety/infamy/obsession? What has it got that ham/prosciutto/jerky doesn’t?

    NPB: I can’t say for sure. In my own personal opinion, because it’s awesome, also I believe Homer Simpson might have something to do with that.

    TCOB:What’s the weirdest bacon-related thing you’ve ever seen?

    NPB: Bacon Flag/Pledge, International Bacon Day, the Royal Bacon Society, the Bacon Martini, and my personal favorite, the Bacon Alarm Clock.

    TCOB: This may shock you, but supermarket “Bacon Bits” are actually vegetarian … what’s up with that?

    NPB: Stick with the real thing.

    TCOB: We will. Of course we will. Thanks for your time, Cathy.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/13/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Bandages'

    Bacon Week: Bacon Bandages

    Posted: September 13th, 2008, 6:56am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    While moving some desks and computers around at work this afternoon, I mashed the knuckle of my middle finger on my right hand. I’m not terribly injury-prone, but I have been carrying in my work bag a solution to just such a problem since Monday morning: a tin of Bacon Bandages, again from the fine folks at Archie McPhee. Hey, they say salt heals all wounds. Or is that time?

    The most surprising thing about these bandages is how well-made they are … the printing quality is very high, and the die-cut shape of the bandages is very cool … these are a fashion statement as much as a wound cover.

    Bacon Bandage

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/12/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Mints'

    Bacon Week: Bacon Mints

    Posted: September 12th, 2008, 3:58pm CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    Of all the bacon products I have received for review this week, Uncle Oinker’s Bacon Mints are the one I have been most dreading. Reviews online are pretty universally negative: ” … One of the http://candyaddict.com/blog/2007/02/27/candy-review-bacon-mints-yes-bacon-mints/">worst tasting candies/mints I have ever had …” and, “Surprisingly, these mints smell worse than they actually taste” are pretty typical comments. So I decided to play the “unbiased observer card,” and made my co-workers and friends do the review for me. I took their reactions as they tasted, and I’ll let you decide for yourself whether or not you’d put one of these mints in your mouth.

    Andrew Hay Eating Bacon Mints

    Tom Potterf Eating Bacon Mints

    Brian Sullivan Eating Bacon Mints

    Anton Legoo Eating Bacon Mints

    Kevin Platt Eating Bacon Mints

    Chris Schenk Eating Bacon Mints

    Jen Wakeman Eating Bacon Mints

    Bruce Kehe Eating Bacon Mints

    Becca Dobosh Eating Bacon Mints

    Michael Drobrusevich Eating Bacon Mints

    Nicole De Jong Eating Bacon Mints

    Jay Cornelius Eating Bacon Mints

    Eryn Deeming-Kehe Eating Bacon Mints

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/12/Bacon_Week__Popcorn___Bacon_Salt'

    Bacon Week: Popcorn + Bacon Salt

    Posted: September 12th, 2008, 7:32am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    I am a popcorn freak. I have been regularly consuming popcorn since I was a wee pup. Hell, popcorn basically got me through art school. I’m growing some in my backyard. That’s how much I love popcorn. So I was stoked when I heard that bacon salt supposedly paired well with popcorn*. In actual fact, saying popcorn goes well with bacon salt is like saying orange juice goes well with toothpaste. Bacon salt added to popcorn basically makes popcorn taste like BBQ Lays potato chips. I am not happy with this pairing. Please do not do this.

    Before Bacon Salt: popcorn taste. Oily, a bit nutty. Needs salt.

    After Bacon Salt (Original Flavor): Tastes like BBQ Lay’s Potato chips, and not in a good way. Needs salt.

    * It should perhaps be noted that I am a bit of a purist with my popcorn prep. I eschew the microwave (upstart technology) and go with a oiled pan on the stove, and add salt. It’s really the only way.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/12/Bacon_Week__The_Baconator'

    Bacon Week: The Baconator

    Posted: September 12th, 2008, 3:27am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    I have not been afraid this week. Many of my friends and family have expressed their concerns about the amount of fat and sodium I am ingesting this week, but the fact is, I haven’t actually eaten that much bacon, instead focusing mainly on bacon-inspired products. Today, though, I was afraid. I had butterflies as I drove up Sandy Boulevard in the direction of Wendy’s to face … the Baconator.

    (I also made the mistake of looking at its nutritional information on Wendys.com before eating.)

    For the uninitiated, non-American or TV-less among you, the Baconator is a new-ish sandwich from the Wendy’s fast food chain. It’s two 1/4 pound beef patties, each topped with a slice of cheese (American, of course). Before being slathered with ketchup and mayo, this thing is topped with SIX slices of bacon. That’s one for every finger on your left hand, plus one. That’s a lot of bacon. It’s also a LOT of fat and calories, 51 grams and 830, respectively, perfect for the wannabe diabetic in your life.

    The Baconator

    I got mine with a medium Coke and french fry, bringing my caloric total to 640, and dollar total to $6.88, making my cost per calorie just a little less than 1 cent/calorie. Mmm, frugal.

    It actually wasn’t bad. Wendy’s prides itself on its fresh, never-frozen beef, and the burgers actually tasted pretty beefy. The bun was un-smooshed and looked like a bun, which is always a surprise at fast food … I’ve had my share of burgers from other chains that resembled a thin disk of mystery meat between two misshapen pancakes, but the bun actually looked like the picture … almost a little too perfect, though. And the bacon? Disappointing. It was the thin, overly sweet, too bacon-flavored, plasticky-textured fast food bacon that tastes really, really fake. It’s trying too hard to taste like bacon, and fooling no one.

    Actually, it did fool someone … apparently Zagat is suddenly doing fast food reviews, and Wendy’s hamburgers are now Zagat-rated.

    Wendy’s Zagat-rated hamburgers

    Still, I pressed on, and managed to finish the entire burger. Unfortunately, while I was distracted, the fries had gone cold, and lacking enough salt (or is my tongue becoming cured?), I couldn’t bring myself to finish them. I figure I’m probably closer to 1.2 cents/calorie. I did manage to eat enough fries to reveal something on the tray beneath my mound of fatty food, something I can only assume is a prayer for those in the beginning stages of a heart attack. I give you … The Baconator’s Creed:

    I am a true MEATATARIAN because …
    I feel bacon should be its own food group.
    I eat, sleep and breathe beef and bacon.
    I have ketchup running through my veins.
    I will only recognize cheese if it is on a hamburger.
    I know the secret to true happiness is hickory smoked bacon.
    I believe the Baconator® is the true 8th Wonder of the World.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/11/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Flavored_Jelly_Beans'

    Bacon Week: Bacon-Flavored Jelly Beans

    Posted: September 11th, 2008, 5:32pm CEST by Thom
    Bacon Week Logo

    With a smell somewhere between fresh-baked cookies and delicious cotton-candy, the Bacon Beans from Archie McPhee were a fascinating delight. The taste, always with trepidation followed by a little disgust, came out to something akin to a smoked-strawberry. It’s certainly not the booger or dirt flavor of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, but I suspect these will not be making a regular appearance in the candy dish at the Reagan Library.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/11/Bacon_Week__Late_Night_Edition'

    Bacon Week: Late-Night Edition

    Posted: September 11th, 2008, 7:10am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    I have a huge amount of bacon-related materials to share this week, and I hope I’ll get to share all of the best items before the week is out. That or we’ll have to make this an annual festival … But here’s one I’ve got to get out there … after hours. One that you might not want to check out at work if you work for someplace that keeps kosher or has some kind of flesh-detecting image blocker. Because there is a lot of flesh here. Original image (and a few others) is here.

    The Bacon Bra

    So, first off … I’m impressed. It takes guts to put yourself out there like that, tight crop or not. But … why isn’t the bacon cooked? I mean, if it was crispy, it would both be more supportive, and actually tasty … I’m not turned on at all by raw bacon. It’s kinda grossing me out, to be honest.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/11/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Beer__Rauchbier_'

    Bacon Week: Bacon Beer (Rauchbier)

    Posted: September 11th, 2008, 6:39am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    This is primarily a beer blog, so it should come as no surprise that Bacon Week had to eventually turn back to the juice of the barley. In this case, it’s as close as the world has yet come to true bacon beer*: Rauchbier.

    Rauchbier is a bottom-fermenting lager native to the Franconia area of Germany, specifically the town of Bamberg. From Michael Jackson’s New World Guide to Beer (1988 edition):

    This is the beer world’s answer to a single malt Scotch whiskey, especially of the Islay type. Scotch whiskey gains its smoky character from the kilning of barley malt over a fire of the local peat. Bamberger Rauchbier takes its smokiness from the kilning of the same material over beechwood logs.

    The first time I ever had rauchbier, I recall it being unbelievably smoky in flavor, and I believe I called it “liquid bacon,” which is how we arrived at reviewing a beer during bacon week. I was able to procure two examples at Belmont Station yesterday.

    Zwei Rauchbieren

    Spezial Rauchbier (pictured at right) is a lightweight relative to most Portland beers, weighing in at just 4.6% abv, but what it lacks in punch it makes up for in flavor. Smoke is definitely there, but not in the overwhelming way I recall it my first time. It complements the grainy sweetness, but isn’t the first note I would pick up - that I’d say is the scent of brewing - it smells just like a brewery in the midst of a boil, which is a nice homey flavor. Add to that the smoke and even a bit of pine as a back note, and this is a nice beer for a cool fall evening, like being in front of the fireplace with your slippers on, which I happen to be.

    The beer I must have been thinking of when I coined the term “liquid bacon” must have been Aecht Schenkerla Rauchbier (pictured at left). Much darker in color than the Spezial, this beer is also about five times more assertive in the smoke department, reminding me less of a comfy evening in front of the fireplace, and more a long day in front of the smoker working on an 18-hour beef brisket. The smoke flavor sticks to your mouth like a tarry coat, peaking in flavor almost a minute after you swallow. It’s not unpleasant, but this is no session beer - far from it. It’s more in the category of what I’d call a “teaching beer,” one that educates the drinker on the vast flavor profiles available in beer, but not one that many are likely to purchase again and again.

    * That is, until Sam Calagione applies his magic and creates a true bacon beer … and on that day, we’ll be first in line.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/10/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Wallet'

    Bacon Week: Bacon Wallet

    Posted: September 10th, 2008, 6:35am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    On Sunday, I literally put my money where my mouth is in anticipation of Bacon Week. Following a trip to Finnegan’s, I became the proud owner of a Bacon Wallet, replacing my 10-year-old leatherbound edition with this printed, slightly padded pleather one. It’s spacious, with 6 credit card slots and 3 large pockets for additional cards. 2 wide pockets hold cash and bus passes.

    Everything in my Wallet

    As strange as it sounds, I really like the padding this thing has. It feels comfortable in my pocket, almost soft, like a pillow of warm, raw bacon, but not nearly as greasy. The old one felt hard, with just a thin layer of calfskin against the hard plastic of my too numerous cards.

    Old Wallet vs. New Wallet

    In the negative column, the bacon wallet could be improved a bit. The lack of an ID window is kind of annoying, particularly in an alcohol-restriction-obsessed state like Oregon. The card slots are a bit tight, too … it would be nice if they were just a millimeter or two wider to allow for credit cards to get in and out a bit easier.

    All in all, I’m liking this expression of the bacon lifestyle, though. Today, I even met my first bacon friends when I noticed they had a bacon wallet, too. That’s mine in the foreground.

    Bacon Wallet Buddies

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    Bacon Week: Chocolate-Covered Bacon

    Posted: September 10th, 2008, 5:08am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    On an bacon-related errand after work today, I found myself near Belmont Station, Portland’s Beer Mecca. There amidst the Allagash tasting and gaudily-colored Coney Island Brau, I saw a shining light:

    Chocolate-Covered Bacon by Wade: $2.50

    Wade, barkeep and budding chocolatier, had created true ambrosia: bacon-covered chocolate:

    Chocolate-Covered Bacon

    I first encountered this Simpsons-inspired concoction in Andrew’s backyard. It was Icharus’ wings writ porky: delicious, but with a fatal flaw: if the sun but glanced on its tupperware enclosure, it melted, revealing stickily sweet cacao-encrusted pork. Tasty, but inconveniently messy.

    Wade’s version was a bit more upscale, and a bit more Alaskan in nature, chilled to refrigerator temps before serving, and covered with crushed cashews.

    Chocolate Covered Bacon

    Paired with Schneider Aventinus Eisbock on the chef’s suggestion, it was like a savory banana split, hold ice cream, add bacon. The sweet banana notes in the eisbock paired superbly with the smoky, sweet, chocolatey goodness in the bacon. The cashews added (literally) another layer of nutty, salty flavor, making this … sorry, Andrew … the best chocolate-covered bacon I have ever put to my lips.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/09/Bacon_Week__Bacon_Doughnuts'

    Bacon Week: Bacon Doughnuts

    Posted: September 9th, 2008, 6:39pm CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    As I mentioned yesterday, I had intended to kickstart this week with a first dose of greasy goodness at one of my favorite breakfast joints, which I coyly kept secret. Until today.

    Exterior of Voodoo Too. The fence keeps the deliciousness trapped inside.

    Voodoo Doughnuts is a Portland legend on the same status level as bridges or beer. Anthony Bourdain visited it, and it seems a required stop for nearly every travel writer who visits the Rose City. I always take out of town guests there, as it is one of those institutions that could only ever exist here. The janitor wears a bra and panties as he cleans. Sexually suggestive pastry names are the norm: Triple Chocolate Penetration (chocolate doughnut, chocolate glaze, and cocoa-puffs), Butter Fingering (Devils food, vanilla, and crushed Butterfinger) and Cock-n-Balls (suggestively shaped, too) are cases in point. They used to make a pink Pepto-Bismol cake doughnut that the rumor mill would have us believe that the FDA put on hiatus.

    Chalkboard Menu of Voodoo Too

    They have not yet stopped the Maple Bacon Bar, though. I stopped on my way into work today and was able to procure four of these raised doughnuts, each topped with a maple frosting, which is then topped with two small slices of honest to god bacon. Not bad bacon, either.

    Extreme Bacon Closeup

    Co-worker Scott reviews it thusly: “An extraordinarily simple concoction: Take a maple bar, and top it with two slices of bacon. Bacon quality: Good. Just slightly overdone, not quite burnt. Maple bar quality: Excellent. The donut was soft and chewy, and the maple frosting was creamy. The bacon tended to slide in the frosting, forcing me to hold it down as I took a bite. The flavor combination was delicious, with the saltiness of the bacon acting as a counterpoint to overwhelming sweetness of the frosting. I would definitely eat this donut again.”

    Scott Eating Bacon Doughnut

    Chris says, “The thought of bacon on a maple bar sounded gross at first. Then I thought about how yummy bacon tastes when drenched in maple syrup at a greasy spoon cafe on a Sunday morning. The bacon was crispy and oh so good! I would definitely eat this again, but I’m already hearing the elliptical machine call out for me after eating my 1200 calories of happy gluttony!”

    Anton, a self-professed “meatatarian” who also tried the bacon chocolate bar, thought “Throughout the experience it was the crunchiness that let me know I was eating something awesome. Since a large part of the doughnut is the actual doughnut, the crunchiness is the only awareness of the bacon. However, between slosh and bite, a pure bacon chomp would explode onto my tongue and the ecstasy would momentarily paralyze my brain.”

    Mind control through bacon. I think we’re onto something here. Someone call the Pentagon.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/09/Bacon_Week__Bacon_vs._Fake_Bacon'

    Bacon Week: Bacon vs. Fake Bacon

    Posted: September 9th, 2008, 6:27am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    I have several vegan/vegetarian friends. No, really. I do.

    Without fail, the thing they tell me they miss the most about the meat-eating lifestyle is one thing: bacon. When people come back to the fold (and by fold, I mean love handles), they invariably head straight for the porcine party, with bacon first on the list. But, these friends of mine, they’re not trendy veg-o-philes, following the latest trends. They’re lifers, and I care for them. I know they’re missing something wonderful, but I want to know they’re satisfied beyond the self-righteous, sleeping peacefully at night level. So I decided to walk a mile in their shoes, and give fake bacon a try. I know. I care too much.

    Beeler’s Bacon vs. Fake ‘Smart’ Bacon

    I went to Whole Foods at lunch and purchased Smart Bacon , which seems to be a widely available bacon substitute (oxymoron), and a pound of Beeler’s Hickory Smoked, Uncured, Thick-Sliced Bacon.

    Bacon vs. Fake Bacon Cooking

    Here’s the rundown.

    1. Bacon smells like bacon.
      Fake bacon smells like dog treats (specifically “Beggin’ Strips”)
    2. Bacon separates from other strips easily.
      Fake bacon crumbles into pieces and must be carefully pried apart.
    3. Fake Bacon Texture
    4. Bacon wrinkles as it cooks.
      Fake bacon remains flat.
    5. Bacon looks like bacon.
      Fake bacon looks like pepperoni.
    6. Bacon is made of pigs.
      Fake bacon is made of water, soy protein isolate, wheat gluten, soybean oil, textured soy protein concentrate, textured wheat gluten, and less than 2% of natural smoke flavor (uhh, what?), natural flavor (of …?), grill flavor (I hope it was a meatless grill, but then it would be flavorless …), carrageenan, evaporated cane juice, paprika oleoresin (also used in the thriving Hungarian canoe industry), potassium chloride, sesame oil, spice extractives, fermented rice flour (sake!) tapioca dextrin, citric acid and salt. Wow.
    7. Bacon has 9 grams of fat per serving.
      Fake bacon has 2 grams of fat per serving.
    8. Bacon cooks in 10 minutes.
      Fake bacon cooks in 3 - 4 minutes.
    9. Bacon tastes like bacon.
      Fake bacon tastes like a dry, salty sponge.
    Dog Eating Fake Bacon

    Conclusion: go with real bacon. The Smart Bacon was, frankly, not. A complete waste of $4, as I couldn’t finish more than a tiny bite - it had a weirdly over-processed texture and a single dimension of flavor: salt. But the dog was beggin’ for it.

    I went with the real bacon and it was magical.

    BLT

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/09/Bacon_Week__Mo%e2%80%99s_Bacon_Bar'

    Bacon Week: Mo’s Bacon Bar

    Posted: September 9th, 2008, 1:51am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    What’s the perfect afternoon snack for Bacon Week? Why, Mo’s Bacon Bar from Vosges Haut-Chocolate, of course. It’s delicious milk chocolate, with teensy weensy bits of applewood smoked bacon and alder wood smoked salt inside. It’s maybe the most delicious chocolate bar I’ve ever had, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

    Mo’s Bacon Bar from Vosges Haut-Chocolate

    Here’s what my co-workers had to say:

    • Mark: Salty, crunchy, and a bit repulsive. should I have more?
    • Anton: I think I want more - but it could be the bacon chocolate talking.
    • Kevin: Sweet front, but with a lingering hint of bacon on the end. A delicate balance of sweet milk chocolate and salty pork belly.
    • Thom: I can feel my arteries hardening with delight.

    Dennis Leary had this routine about crack cocaine. I’m probably butchering it, but it went something like, “Only in America would a guy invent crack. Only in America would there be a guy that cocaine wasn’t good enough for…”

    Mo’s Bacon Bar is kind of like that. It’s really, really good. Frankly, it’s probably too good. Like crack cocaine. Like Penelope Cruz and Selma Hayek in bed together. It can only lead to … more bacon-covered chocolate.

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/09/Bacon_Week__Russian_Dumplings___Bacon_Salt'

    Bacon Week: Russian Dumplings + Bacon Salt

    Posted: September 9th, 2008, 12:55am CEST by Dave
    Bacon Week Logo

    Editor’s Note: I got off to a bit of a slow start this morning with my bacon week plans … turns out my breakfast joint of choice is closed for the next 3 days for cleaning. As Thom says, “kinda makes you wonder how dirty it is if it takes three days to clean it.” Indeed. Thankfully, they have a second location on the east side of Portland, so I’ll hit it up tomorrow. First bacon opportunity of the day, then … lunch.

    Several months ago, a friend sent me a link that I thought must be nonsense: BaconSalt.com. An entire web site devoted to the sale of a mythical-sounding product in three flavors: original, peppered and hickory. Knowing what a crazy internet meme bacon has become (more on that later), I assumed it must be some kind of hoax. But, the little smoked piggy on my shoulder won out, and before I knew it, I was requesting some product to sample. A week later, I was the proud owner of 7.5 ounces of Bacon Salt. I’ll be trying it out all week, doing a little “before and after” with some of my favorite foods.

    I work downtown, and typically avail myself of cart food whenever possible. It’s cheap, fast, and you can eat your way around the world, with offerings from Japan, Thailand, Yugoslavia, Mexico, Greece … It’s the United Nations of Food. There used to be a Russian cart nearby that used bacon as a condiment. Unfortunately, (and this is bacon fail number two, if you’re playing from home) it’s closed and gone the way of dodo bacon (mmm, extinct bacon). There is a replacement Russian cart, though, and one with deliciously bland dumplings. That is, until you add … Bacon Salt.

    Dumplings Before Bacon Salt

    Before Bacon Salt: doughy, meat-filled pasta with sour cream and green onions. Hot and slimy delicious, in an inoffensive way.

    After Bacon Salt (Original Flavor): Mmm, bacony. Russian food needs bacon like Putin needs vodka. The smoky, savoriness really rounds out the dumplings, and the salt’s bite brings out the contrast of the sweet, fresh-tasting scallions.

    Verdict: Russian dumplings are much improved with Bacon Salt.

    Stay tuned for more Bacon Salt tests as the week cures … er … develops …

  • Permalink for 'The_Champagne_of_Blogs/2008/09/08/Bacon_Week_Begins_'

    Bacon Week Begins!

    Posted: September 8th, 2008, 4:33am CEST by Dave

    Just in time for BLT season here in Portland, the BS Brewing crew will be bringing you all the sweet porky goodness you can handle beginning tomorrow. We’ll be sharing some new recipes for making your own homemade bacon based on our popular post, trying some bacon-based products, reviewing several varieties of bacon, indulging in some liquid bacon, and just generally celebrating the cured-pork lifestyle. It’s a week you won’t want to miss, unless you have high cholesterol or a fear of teated meat.

    Help us spread the word - use the below image on your favorite social networking site and help us spread the word!

    BS Brewing Bacon Week Logo

    The Bacon Week logo uses “Bring Home the Bacon” font created by something called “Font Nook.” The link for Font Nook seems to be expired, so if you’re the owner of this font, please let me know and I’ll credit you appropriately (and deliciously).