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Items by Dave Selden

The Champagne of Blogs

• 

  I am Jack’s Bacon Shake Review

  Posted: February 8th, 2012, 4:23am CET by Dave Selden

  So, I thought I’d pretty much seen every bacon product ever made. I actually have a backlog of bacon-y products to review, eventually. A bacon cellar, if you will.

  But I never expected to see this.

  

  As Jack in the Box anticipated, my first reaction was, “hoax.” But then I saw it on Facebook. Where, you know, everything’s fact-checked. Don’t believe me? Check out their stupid Flash web site, where you can also see … oh, wait, I can’t link to anything. Very well, here’s the nutrition info, screen-captured so you can see it.

  

  If you’re wondering, that’s about twice as many calories and fat as a McDonald’s Big Mac (PDF). And that’s probably not a good thing.

  But, like normal, warm, solid bacon … is the Bacon Shake a “worth it” treat?

  I think you can probably guess my answer, which has nothing to do with the fact that Bacon Shake contains no actual bacon (only “bacon syrup,” which I assume is this Torani product – double ick).

  Despite my initial, in the moment drive-thru enthusiasm, the answer is “absolutely not.”

  

  The initial hit isn’t bad. Sweet, a little bit of salt … caramel. Kind of a poor man’s … salted caramel, with just a wisp of campfire. But once you stop suction on the straw, the gates of hell open, and your mouth is filled with the plaintive cries of a million charred demons. Rubber charred demons. Start sucking again, and the sweetness wipes away the fake smoke flavor. Stop … and the blackened hands grasp once more at your taste buds as they try to escape your gaping maw.

  Am I exagerrating? Maybe a little. Not much. I say “save yourself the $3.89 and get a baconator.” Made with actual bacon, about the same fat content, but a few less calories. Did I mention it’s actually made with bacon? Not great bacon, but actual bacon. Factually.

  

• 

  I’m Drinking Don Younger’s Beer

  Posted: February 1st, 2012, 5:30am CET by Dave Selden

  Today marks the 1-year anniversary of Don Younger’s death. For those who don’t know, Don was the owner of the Horse Brass, Portland’s legendary beer bar. And that’s telling it lightly. It’s a mecca, with some of the world’s best, most rarest beers on tap. He collected friends in the brewing community like this guy collects miniature liquor bottles. Brewers would always set a keg of something special aside, and Don would put it on. I wrote a lot more about my recollections of Don over on my failed 999 Beers blog, and guest BS’er Chris Tacy actually bar crawled with him a few years back. Good background reading.

  But I’m writing to tell you about a beer I’m drinking right now. It was Don’s. I made it to his estate sale on the second day, and most of the good stuff (if there was good stuff – Don had dissimilar taste in beer to me) was already gone. But there on the shelves, I found something dusty and … curious. A six-pack of Henry Weinhard’s Private Reserve. Bottling number 13.

  This is not a beer you’d normally age, so it must have had some significance. Or not. When I die, I suppose people will find lots of things around and wonder why I kept them. That G4 in the basement, for example, circa 1998. Equally dust-covered.

  

  The label says “only premium quality brewing for four generations.” So maybe it’s one of the last brews from Henry’s before Miller’s takeover? That was in 1999. This could be a 13-plus-year-old beer. Or not. Marketers can be … misleading.

  I can tell you one thing – there’s no born-on date. Nor is there any carbonation. The cap was a bit tarnished, and the screw-top never was a reliable barrier for gases in or out. No sound at all when I opened it.

  It is absolutely clear, though. No sediment in the bottom, either. Guessing this, like its present-day descendants, is not bottle-conditioned.

  And the taste? It’s faint. Just a hint of wet malt. Very thin. I doubt I will drink more than a sip or two, but it smells nice. Like Fuller’s Vintage, even. But very little actual flavor. Vintage beer-scented water.

  Rest in peace, Don. Maybe someday you’ll tell me what you were saving this for.

  Update: one more thought. The bottle doesn’t include a bottle deposit on the label. Oregon’s famous “Bottle Bill,” which added a 5-cent deposit to beer bottles, was enacted in 1971. It’s hard to believe the beer could be that old, though.

  

• 

  Shapes to Describe Beer

  Posted: January 31st, 2012, 6:24am CET by Dave Selden

  In November of 2009, I had a wild hair while attending a design gathering here in Portland. Based on some trouble I’d had keeping legible notes at beer festivals, and some inspiration in the form of a custom publishing platform called Scout Books, I came up with 33 Bottles of Beer. You know, the beer-tasting notebook that’s taking over my life?

  My main requirement (other than the device being pocket-sized and battery-free) was speed. I wanted to be able to take notes quickly, so I could spend more time drinking, er … sampling. Here’s what I came up with.

  

  So I incorporated some quick graphic devices that made taking notes as quick as I could. Think checkboxes. Doesn’t take but half a second to make a tick.

  But flavor threw me for a loop. Flavor is inherently fuzzy. Not binary, as in “checked” or “un-checked.” There are shades of flavor. Gradients. Spectrums. So, my graphic design brain started firing. How could you quickly describe varying levels of flavor, and do so visually?

  I ended up with what’s called a “radar chart,” which I call a “flavor wheel.” Some people also call it a spider graph. I think it’s what makes 33 books special (yep, there are wine, cheese, coffee, cigar and whiskey versions, too), and it’s usually the thing people remark on when they look at the books for the first time.

  But I wondered the other day (I was drinking some 9.4% abv Black Boss Porter) – if I were creating a new beer review book – what might some other tasting notation options be?

  One option might be “Harvey Balls,” which are used by Consumer Reports for comparative data. Equally quick, but “flavor balls” doesn’t exude … well, it sounds gross. Sorry, Mr. Harvey. And frankly, it doesn’t look as cool.

  

  How about a simple bar chart? Elegant, and that might allow for even more gradation. The flavor wheel is kind of limiting, with just five points. This option, which I’ve dubbed “the Flavor Grid,” while a bit longer vertically, allows for quite a bit more nuance – score beers from 1 to 7! That’s … huh … 20% more. Or so.

  

  No, way too much ink to fill that thing up. I got tired after just two of the 16 descriptors! And eco-friendly is important to me. Plus, space is at a premium since the books are designed to be pocket-sized. Maybe if I had a little more space to work with, I could come up with something better. Or not.

  

• 

  Is this thing on?

  Posted: January 21st, 2012, 5:56am CET by Dave Selden

  Yeah, yeah, another “I just realized I haven’t posted to this blog in a long time …” post. Thinking about firing BS Brewing back up again, though. It might be a “one night only” thing, since Bruce and I are joining Ezra on what is sure to be a story-filled beer bus adventure in a few weeks, or maybe not.

  Anyway, is anyone out there still reading us?

  

• 

  ReinheitsgeWhat?!

  Posted: July 10th, 2010, 7:39am CEST by Dave Selden

  This year’s annual Independence Day backyard blind beer tasting challenged palates and flaunted the vaunted German beer purity law of 1516. If you’re not familiar with the law, it basically limited 16th Century German brewers to three ingredients: malted barly, hops and water. Turns out they hadn’t figured out what yeast was at that point, so it wasn’t listed.

  Here’s the relevant text, translated to English:

  … We wish to emphasize that in future in all cities, markets and in the country, the only ingredients used for the brewing of beer must be Barley, Hops and Water. Whosoever knowingly disregards or transgresses upon this ordinance, shall be punished by the Court authorities’ confiscating such barrels of beer, without fail.

  I’m guessing the Court authorities never, ever paid for beer. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I taste some cassis in this doppelbock. I’m going to have to confiscate it. For my belly.”

  

  I selected beers that all included something funky. Each beer was poured behind closed doors; tasters (aka our party guests) were asked to identify the Reinheitsgebot-violating ingredient from a list. I’ll be honest – I thought this would be the easiest challenge to date. But identifying some of the flavors proved difficult, especially in the berry department. Here’s what I poured:

  • Jasmine: Avatar Jasmine IPA, Elysian Brewing
  • Espresso: Overcast Espresso Stout, Oakshire Brewing
  • Chocolate: Imperial Chokolat, Southern Tier Brewing
  • Blueberry: Bluebeery Ale, Marin Brewing
  • Raspberry: Wild Raspberry Ale, Great Divide Brewing
  • Honey, Basil: Organic Honey Basil, Bison Brewing
  • Chipotle Pepper: Chipotle Ale, Rogue Brewing
  • Apricot: Aprihop: Dogfish Head Brewery

  Of the bunch, I’d say the Aprihop (beer review at 999 Beers), Jasmine IPA and Overcast are in the category of “beers I’d definitely drink again.”

  The Chokolat was widely imagined as “delicious over ice cream,” and I think that would be a good combo, if infrequent.

  The Bluebeery tasted a little too artificial for my liking, but the Wild Raspberry had the real flavor of raspberries in every sip (I compared it to fresh-from-the-bush raspberries between pouring sessions!).

  If you’d like to replicate the tasting menu, here’s the ReinheitsgeWhat?! tasting ballot, designed by yours truly.

  Previous tastings:

  1. 2009: Us vs. Them (Domestic and Foreign examples of Sours and IPAs)
  2. 2008: Red States vs. Blue States
  3. 2007: Red, White and Blue Beers

  

• 

  Beer To-Go at PDX

  Posted: April 13th, 2010, 6:35am CEST by Dave Selden

  Ahh, the good old days. I remember lugging cases of Oregon beer back to the midwest with me every time I went back on United. I carried homebrew for Christmas gifts, and some of my favorite 22-ouncers to share with friends and family.

  Then the TSA was born, someone tried to blow up a shoe or something, and now you can’t bring more than 3 ounces of liquid on a plane. And despite Rogue’s new smaller bottles, they still aren’t small enough to fit in a 1-quart plastic bag.

  So I was stoked to see that someone at the Made in Oregon store finally took the initiative and started stocking some of our fine malt beverages next to the fermented grape juice. True, there’s a lot more wine for sale than beer, but there is now a fair selection to choose from.

  

  Rogue is best represented (although the growlers of Dead Guy seem as if they might have been on the shelf awhile), but there are a few bottles from Hair of the Dog, Southern Oregon Brewing, Ninkasi, and some random choices from Bridgeport (Blue Heron? WTF?), Deschutes (Black Butte and Mirror Pond) and perhaps most randomly, MacTarnahan’s Haywire.

  

• 

  Porky the Pork Pig in a Bacon Blanket

  Posted: February 25th, 2010, 5:51am CET by Dave Selden

  All these beer reviews lately, you’d think this blog was about … beer. Au contraire, my friends (French for “nuh uh”). If you’ll point your attention to the navigation over there on the right side of this page, you’ll note a mysterious, delicious category called “Meat Stunts.” That’s where you’ll find instructions for home made bacon, the legend of the curiously named “La Caja China,” and our last Superbowl centerpiece, “Snack Stadium XXXL.”

  After last year’s surge in post-game web traffic, I knew we had to do something spectacular this year. This time, inspiration came in the form of a slab of shelf-stable Broadbent pepper bacon I acquired from bacn.com (now owned by baconfreak.com). The predictable thing to do would have been to chunk it up into lardons (French for thick-ass pieces of bacon) or simply slice it thick for superdelishtstic BLT’s. But the meat stuntman in me wanted to stuff it with something.

  

  So of course I went to the best stuffing of all: more pork. I picked up a whole pork loin from Gartner’s, along with some pork sausage-stuffed pork tenderloins. If you’re counting, that’s four types of pork product so far.

  

  I had a plan going in, but it was just a bit of stray cholesterol until I actually opened up the slab. I had no idea how much room there was in there! I got so excited I forgot to take photos of the assembly process, so instead I’ll let you digest the photo below, and describe what’s going on after the break.

  

  Back? Not what you were expecting, was it? Heh. So the body’s the pork loin, sliced at one end to form a mouth. Inside the “mouth” are two garlic cloves acting as incisors, and the traditional apple. A couple more garlic cloves form the eyeballs, and two apple slices form the sow’s ears. The legs are those sausage-stuffed tenderloins I mentioned, with garlic toes (Mmm, garlic toes). Now, I wanted this thing to actually be tasty, and I was a bit concerned about overwhelming samplers with a lot of grease. This creation was going to be wrapped in bacon for a few hours, after all. So before I tucked her in, I sprinkled her back and legs with fresh rosemary “bristles” and lots of chopped up garlic “garlic.” Beneath the sow, I cut some drainage slits in the bottom of the bacon blanket.

  

  I set the oven to 350, and tried not to open it every 15 minutes to see how my monster was developing. The house smelled … so delicious it was actually almost sickening. Imagine a foggy morning so thick you have to turn your headlights on. Now imagine that fog in your nose, and the whole thing smells like bacon, rosemary and garlic. It was difficult to concentrate. But four hours later, I pulled the pig and … wow. I wish you could have tried it. It was delicious, and those that could get past its eerily lifelike appearance were able to taste all four meats in one bite. Best of all, no one got sick, despite the Russian Roulette-like meat game we played. Four chances to get trichinosis, but all cylinders came up empty.

  Soooo-ey!

  

  

• 

  33 Beers on the Radio Today!

  Posted: December 19th, 2009, 5:51pm CET by Dave Selden

  Hey, Portland audiophiles! I’m going to be on Lisa Morrison’s radio show this afternoon talking about the 33 Beers books. The show, “Beer O’Clock” airs on KXL 750 (AM) from 3-4 PM every Saturday. If you’re not within radio distance of PDX and would like to hear what I sound like on the radio through an iPhone, you can download the podcast next Monday from the station’s website.

  In other 33 Beers news, I restocked both Belmont Station and Saraveza last night, so be sure to stop by after you hear my colorful, rambling origin story on the radio. Bailey’s Taproom is also stocking the books and represents our flagship downtown location.

  And of course, you can also purchase the booklets online if you’re outside PDX but inside the USA. I’ll guarantee pre-Christmas arrival for any books ordered online before 11 PM Pacific time on Sunday, December 20th.

  

  Still not sure about the books? Here’s some unbiased reviews from some of my favorite bloggers:

  • Beervana
  • Appellation Beer
  • Brewvana
  • Brewpublic
  • realbeer.com Holiday Gift Guide

  

• 

  33 Beers: A Beer Notebook

  Posted: November 29th, 2009, 10:27pm CET by Dave Selden

  We’ve been to a lot of beer festivals. A LOT of beer festivals. Mostly in Oregon, but earlier this year we made our way down to San Francisco Beer Week, and took on the Great American Beer Festival in Denver this fall (photo below).

  

  I’d like to say that the recap blog posts are forthcoming, but as every festival attendee can attest, the details tend to get hazy as the samples take hold, and SMS/Twitter reconstructions can only go so far toward recalling the flavor profiles and production details on some of the more obscure or original microbrews tasted.

  

  Our first product, 33 Beers, is an attempt to solve this “memory problem.” It’s a beer journal we designed for rapidly taking down the important details of a beer. A unique “flavor wheel” is included on each of the 33 pages of note-taking area, and it provides a quick, visual way to describe a beer’s flavor (and recall it later). Simple check-boxes for serving method (draft, can, bottle, etc.) and other key information further speed up the process. The idea is to take notes for later recall, but do so rapidly so you can, you know … enjoy the actual beer?

  Best of all, it’s highly portable, unlike the 11×17-sized, color-coded Excel spreadsheets we used to tote around to beer festivals. It easily fits in the front or back pocket of a pair of jeans, and is thinner than most mobile phones. It’s printed in the Northwest on 100% Washington-recycled paper using US-grown soy ink, so it should satisfy even the hippiest of hippie beer drinkers.

  

  We’ve set up a web site to sell the book at 33beers.com, and it’s available in a few stores in the Portland, Oregon area (Saraveza, Belmont Station and Bailey’s Taproom as of this writing). It’s been largely a labor of love, and we’d love it if you’d help us spread the word to the other beer geeks in your life. It’s pretty inexpensive, too; it retails at $4 each or a three-pack is $10. Wouldn’t these look great under your tree?

  

  

• 

  Re-using Yeast

  Posted: October 19th, 2009, 4:20am CEST by Dave Selden

  While surveying the internet for kegerator-making instructions, I fell upon a now-lost (to me) web page that described an unusual process for saving some money in the brewing process by saving, then re-using yeast from previous batches. At $8/smack pack, this seems like a good way to save some coin on homebrewing, further improving the value proposition.

  I’ve heard all about making yeast starters and dividing that up after adding it to wort created expressly for the purpose of breeding, but frankly, that has always sounded like a lot of work.

  This lost to history web page I discovered had a simpler way to harvest yeast for re-use: simply poor the dregs of a carboy into sanitized plastic bottles after doing your kegging/bottling. Up to six months later, simply open the bottle up and dump into your wort. Even I can do that.

  

  Anyone out there tried this method before? How did it work? For the record, the yeast I’m attempting to re-use is Wyeast 1056 American Ale.

  
• 

  How to Make a Kegerator (with Photos)

  Posted: September 21st, 2009, 6:06am CEST by Dave Selden

  You know how awesome my wife is? She got me the makings for a kegerator for Christmas last year. At the time, I had a secondhand fridge I kept out in the garage, but only plugged in for parties as I was afraid of the heat it generated causing a fire, and its effect on my power bill was equally worrisome. While walking the dog one day, I passed an Energy Trust truck advertising a $30 bounty paid for old, but working fridges, all the incentive I needed to upgrade. That was in June, but a new baby kept my priorities, and my wallet, focused on non-refrigerator purchases.

  Thankfully, Labor Day reminded me of my priorities, celebrating the American worker by capturing a piece of his paycheck, this time in the form of a new, energy efficient fridge, one whose warranty I immediately began to contemplate voiding.

  Here’s how I tackled fridge to kegerator conversion. It really couldn’t have been more simple, but there was a nagging voice inside that kept asking, “You’re going to drill holes in a new fridge?” Yep, and it was totally worth it. Hopefully, you’ll see how easy and worthwhile this conversion is, and shut your inner nag up.

  1. Mark holes for the taps. Have the taps before you do this, and ideally the tap handles, too. You want the taps high enough that you’re not kneeling to dispense beer, but not so high that opening the freezer door causes you to spill beer all over the floor by activating the tap handles. I suggest marking the inside, where the contours are the most divergent. The nuts that hold the taps in place need to be on a flat part of the door’s interior, so look for a flat area on the interior of the fridge.

  

  2. Drill pilot holes. Most hardware stores carry extra-long (8-10″ long) drill bits for less than $10, but in retrospect, I think a four or five-inch long quarter-inch diameter bit would have been sufficient to go through the interior plastic, the insulation, and the sheet metal exterior of the fridge door. The important thing is that the diameter of your pilot hole bit is the same, or slightly smaller than, the bit that guides your hole saw.

  

  3. Drill Final Holes Start by using a 1″ hole saw (just a hair larger than the diameter of the taps) to drill the plastic interior lining on the door, using your pilot hole from step 2 as a guide. Don’t drill through the metal from the inside, though – it will leave a very ragged hole. Instead, drill a little more than halfway through the door from the inside, then finish the hole from the outside. This way, both holes will be nice and neat. I thought drilling the metal would be difficult, but it’s fairly thin metal, and a sharp, new bit made very short work of it.

  

  

  4. Insert the Taps. If you fail on this step, you don’t have the brain cells to lose, and I suggest you abandon alcohol consumption, starting immediately.

  

  5. Secure the Taps. Use the nuts that came with your taps to secure the taps to the refrigerator door by tightening them from the inside. A large crescent wrench is necessary to get the nuts sufficiently tight.

  

  6. Connect Beer Lines to Taps. Connect the beer lines to the taps using the nut-end of the beer hoses. Make sure there’s a rubber washer inside the nut; tightening the nut will compress this washer, providing a good seal on the taps (no leaks!).

  

  7. Connect Beer Lines to Kegs. There are two places you can fail in this step, probably because you’re getting thirsty after all the man work. Do as I say, not as I did. Firstly, make sure the taps are turned off when you connect them to the kegs. Most taps pull forward to dispense, so you’ll want them pushed BACK, in the OFF position. Secondly, the Cornelius kegs (aka “Corny” kegs) used by homebrewers generally have two valves, an “in” and an “out.” The latter refers to the liquid contents, and you want the “out” valve connected to the taps. It is possible to mash the beer lines onto the “in” valve, but you will not be happy with this decision.

  

  Remember where I said to turn OFF the taps before connecting the beer lines to the kegs? This is what happens when you ignore that advice: your precious beer all over the floor.

  

  8. Connect CO2 to Kegs. After hooking up the beer lines, there should be only one valve left on each keg. Hook your CO2 up to these valves (marked “IN”), and turn on the pressure at the tank. I adjusted my regulator to provide 10 lbs. of outward pressure, a little higher than I would do for just one keg, but pushing 2 kegs’ worth of beer out seemed to require a little more.

  

  9. Attach Drip Tray I’d say a drip tray is optional, but it was really nice of your wife to agree to this kegerator thing, and a clean, unsticky floor is something she probably values. So get the drip tray, and keep your wife happy. It looks cool, too. I attached mine with Velcro so I could remove it for cleaning easily.

  

  Kegerator Supplies:

  • In Portland: Let’s Brew seems to have the best stock of parts, and has very helpful and knowledgeable staff.
  • Online: Amazon has cheap parts, but are mostly for standard San-Key style kegs (most pro brewers supply bars in this format). If you’ve already got Corny kegs, I suggest something like this kit from MoreBeer.
  • Screw It, I Don’t Have Time to Build One: May I suggest this fine pre-made Kegerator?
  • 1-Inch hole saw and mandrel (you’ll need both if you don’t already own the mandrel that holds the saw part).
  • 8″ Crescent Wrench

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: Bacon Soap

  Posted: September 15th, 2009, 6:48am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  I thought I would smell like bacon.

  I’ve been using Bacon Soap for a week, and really, I smell a bit savory, but I don’t smell anything like bacon. No more than any other person that’s been cooking pounds and pounds of bacon in a short period of time, anyway. Not smoky, not salty, not … bacony.

  It does smell a little bacony when you use it, though. Actually, it smells a little like other fake bacon products do when you use it. Having sampled a wide variety of bacon-inspired products in a short period of time, I am now highly attuned to that unique blend of industrial dyes and spices that some companies use to mimic the smell of my favorite salty meat. Bacon soap smells like bacon gumballs. Bacon soap smells like bacon mints. Bacon soap smells like bacon air freshener. Bacon soap smells like trying too hard. And it kind of stings my eyes.

  

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: Swiss Chard with Bacon Lardons

  Posted: September 13th, 2009, 5:47am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  Sometimes you want a baguette, and sometimes you want sliced bread. But in the bread family, at least, most American supermarkets give you that choice: sliced or unsliced. Not so with bacon. “You’ll buy sliced bacon, and you’ll like it, bub. Because we know how thick you want it.”

  

  I beg to differ, and thanks to the fine folks at Broadbent Hams, you don’t have to take it anymore, either. Bacn.com offers many of their fine bacons in slab format, so you can cut it how you want it. I like my bacon sliced thick for breakfast slices, but for cooking, it’s especially nice to have bacon cut to order. The French call thick chunks of bacon for cooking “lardons” and they’re a nice addition to any cook’s cupboard. I say cupboard, because Broadbent’s bacon is shelf-stable, at least until you open the package. Sliced into 1/4″ cubes, the outside gets nice and crispy, while the interior stays somewhat soft, providing two nice textures in one morsel.

  

  As a confirmed meatatarian, I’m usually not a big fan of vegetables, but with the addition of bacon, I become exponentially more interested. Wife Sarah’s perfected the art of cooking greens (swiss chard in this example). Here’s her recipe:

  1. Cook 1/4 pound of cubed bacon on medium-low heat in a dutch oven (we LOVE our Le Creuset), cooking until it’s brown on the outside. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside.
  2. Pour off all but enough bacon grease to coat the bottom of the pan.
  3. Saute the greens in the bacon grease for a few minutes, until the leaves wilt, about 5 minutes.
  4. Add about 3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar (to taste) and stir.
  5. Add in a teaspoon or two of brown sugar (to taste) and stir to combine.
  6. Put the bacon bits back in and stir some more. If you like really crispy bacon, add it after simmering the greens on their own for awhile.
  7. Simmer, covered, until stems soften. About 20-25 minutes of simmering results in a texture we generally like, but some people prefer a softer stem still.
  8. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
  

  Greens go especially well with barbecue ribs, pulled pork or fried chicken (shown above), but they’re a nice complement to almost any southern-inspired and/or porky meal. Warm, homemade biscuits optional, but highly recommended.

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: Bacon-Maple Lollipops

  Posted: September 12th, 2009, 5:56am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  Editor’s Note: There sure is a lot of bacon-related stuff out there. Every day, it seems, I find something new. And yet, there are only so many days in a Bacon Week. “Seven,” you’re thinking. Nope. Going to go with nine this year. It’s just too little time, and I have a few more things I need to share with the world (and my slow-learning co-workers). Bacon Week 2 ends Monday evening.

  After the bacon-flavored sunflower seeds and last year’s bacon mint debaucle, I thought it was time to bring something tasty to work. The mad scientists over at Lollyphile began with just a couple of flavors: absinthe and … you guessed it. Bacon. Maple-bacon, to be exact. Made with real Vermont maple syrup and an un-named organic bacon. Real ingredients, assembled with care. I felt sure this would be the reputation redemption I was looking for. Unfortunately, the treats got a little too much heat after being left in my car, malforming the lollipops quite a bit. Sorry, guys.

  

  Scott: First of all, it was incredibly sticky and difficult to open, and once you got it open, it wasn’t attached to the stick very well, so it came off after a few licks. Secondly, though mine had a liberal amount of bacon bits sprinkled through the maple-flavored candy, they didn’t actually add any flavor at all, unless you got one out and bit into it, and even then, it was overwhelmed by the maple. The maple candy wasn’t bad at all, but since I was expecting more bacon flavor, I was disappointed.

  

  Rodrigo: I think the experience would’ve probably started off better if the lollipop didn’t stick all over my hands. Nonetheless, the super sweet maple flavor is definitely prominent at first… not too much bacon at all. As the lollipop dissolves, rather sticks all over your teeth, I started to feel a subtle bacon flavor here and there. The savory-sweet balance happened maybe about at the half way point—which was still sort of pleasant. After that, bacon bits were being released in high quantity, and the whole thing just kind of got a little gross. The end point just seriously tastes like old bacon from the fridge with a dollop of maple syrup.  The overall experience: it was a rollercoaster of weirdness in my mouth!

  

  Libby: My first reaction, after I managed after 5 minutes get the sucker open, was that it tasted like a sweet potato. The maple flavor was good, although mine seemed to only sport small shreds of bacon which didn’t give it much bacon flavor. That said, listening to cohorts who had larger pieces of bacon in theirs that behaved “like shards of glass”, I was thankful. Overall, it tasted like maple. And perhaps it was due to the heat treatment it received in Dave’s car, but: it behaved more like a hard caramel than a sucker, and I had to manually reattach it to the stick before I even sampled it. While innocuous, when compared to the Bacon Lip Balm, it failed to prove to me that bacon is a worthwhile sucker flavor, as it didn’t seem to have any bacon flavor.

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: Bacon-Flavored Sunflower Seeds

  Posted: September 10th, 2009, 9:58pm CEST by Dave Selden

  

  The guys over at Bacon Salt have a simple premise that guides their company’s product development team: “Everything Should Taste Like Bacon.” To a large extent, I agree with that statement. Most foods DO taste better with actual bacon as an ingredient. I’ve had maple-flavored ice cream sprinkled with still-warm bacon bits. Most excellent. Burgers with bacon are incredible. Duh.

  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I agree with the Bacon Salt guys, at least as long as we’re talking about things tasting better with bacon, as long as actual bacon is used to generate that flavor. It’s when people start trying to create that signature bacon flavor WITHOUT using bacon that problems occur. This is the case with BIGS Bacon-Salt Flavored Sunflower Seeds, as you can see from my unwitting co-workers’ reactions, below.

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: The BBBBBLT

  Posted: September 10th, 2009, 7:28am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  “Because it’s there.” That’s the answer George Mallory gave when asked why he wanted to climb Mount Everest. That’s why I knew I had to try the BBBBLT when inspiration struck. Once it occurred to me, I knew I had to make it. And once I made it, I had to eat it. Because it was there.

  Let me break it down for you.

  

  Starting from top left, clockwise:

  1. Bacon Beer Bread. Based on this recipe for beer bread, but substituting Hickory Bacon Salt for the salt … salt. I used Hempler’s bacon, chopped into little bits, distributed throughout the dough, about three slices worth. This counts for two of the B’s: Bacon Bread.
  2. Bacon Skillet Jam. Sarah got me some from a famous Seattle food cart, and it’s a nice sweet tangy bacony spread. Makes all sandwiches better.
  3. Baconnaise. From the people that brought you Bacon Salt, it’s bacon-flavored (still vegetarian) mayonnaise. It’s got the tang of Miracle Whip, with the aftertaste of bacon salt.
  4. Lettuce. From the garden. That’s the “L.”
  5. Tomato. Ditto. That’s your “T.”
  6. And last but not least, actual bacon bacon. Again, went with Hempler’s bacon. They make a nice meaty bacon, uncured, and very similar to British-style bacon. It’s sweetish, subtle, and not too salty. And very easy to overcook, so keep an eye on it. And thus, for the cardiologists counting along at home, your fifth and final “B.”

  I sliced myself two thick slices of bacon bread, and set phasers to “assemble.”

  

  On the left side, I slathered the bread with Baconnaise. Cool color. On the right, Bacon Jam. Weird color. I didn’t test this theory, but I suspect if you attempted to push the pieces of bread together at this stage, it would be like trying to mate two polarly-opposed magnets together, or like mating polar bears and penguins.

  

  Almost done. My hands were shaking as I applied the lettuce to the mayo side, then topped it with tomatoes, as I’m sure Mallory’s were as he gripped that last rock on the way to the top. His were probably shaking from the cold, though. Mine were shaking from excitement. The right side got the actual bacon. Bon Appetit, if you’re reading this, I will license this photo.

  

  Now. Time to meld these two halve together, forming something undoubtedly greater than the sum of its parts, like if South Dakota and North Dakota reunited. And booked the original Guns and Roses for the reunification celebration. Something like that.

  

  It was like eating a bacon tornado. If you recall the scene in Twister, where some debris flies by, swept up in the tornado’s vortex? More debris, followed by a boat, followed by a cow?

  That’s what this tasted like. The first hit was the sweetness of the beer bread, punctuated by odd bits of bacon. Once that had passed my palate, a brief crunch of lettuce was followed quickly by a sharp, but sweet Baconnaise tang. More bread, then WHAM! BAM! Bacon Jam! A rich, almost fruity foundation that merged slowly into acidic garden-fresh tomato, quickly followed by Actual Bacon™ texture. It was wild.

  I climbed that mountain of a bacon sandwich. Because it was there.

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: Bacon Watch

  Posted: September 9th, 2009, 7:15am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  I’ve had the same watch since high school, a Swiss Army model I bought with the money I received as graduation presents, supplemented with a bit of grocery store money. Runs like a champ, nearly bulletproof, waterproof, and not so gaudy as to be considered male jewelry. So it was with some trepidation I replaced my usual left-side sidekick with the simply named “bacon wristwatch,” again from Archie McPhee.

  

  My arm bristled at the foreign-feeling vinyl (a far cry from stainless steel), but I liked the fun look of the deeply embossed, bacon-inspired band. I didn’t pay the watch face much attention, other than to note the lack of numbers on its face.

  But as I wore the watch for the next four days, it became more and more irritating, not just for the imprecise time (why wear a watch at all if you only want to know roughly what time it is?), but for the face itself.

  

  The face contains the likeness of Mr. Bacon, a character the folks at McPhee feel has the cultural cachet of Mickey Mouse, but one I find somewhat … annoying. The face could have been so much better, so much more worthy of the bold, fun-looking band. So as an actual Professional Graphic Designer™, I offer a few suggested improvements, shown below.

  This one answers the age-old question, a watch’s raison d’etre, “What time is it?” This watch has the answer.

  

  Yes, I know bacon comes from the pig’s belly, but no one wants to tell time by judging which position the nipple is pointing. Instead, use the cute, curly (tasty) tail as indicator!

  

  And, the one that seems both the simplest and most obvious: bacon hands (similar to jazz hands, but not anything like Edward Fortyhands).

  

  Got a better idea? I’ll send the funniest/awesomest reader submission posted here a bacon care package.

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: Mini BLTs

  Posted: September 8th, 2009, 6:37am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  I love brewing. And I love eating. But it’s a certain kind of food that goes well with both activities, usually something from the Dorito’s segment of the food pyramid. And while I love orange hands and flavors inspired by the famous Rancho Coolo, I often want something more substantial. Something entree-like, but which doesn’t require silverware. World, I give you … mini BLTs. You’re welcome.

  Cook some bacon. In this case, I’m using a slab of thick-sliced, uncured Niman Ranch center cut, Applewood smoked bacon. It’s salty, but not too salty, and easy to cook up to the perfect BLT state: a few minutes past “wiggly,” but not quite rigid. This particular bacon has a deep, smoky flavor to it, which goes well with the other components of the trio without being overpowering.

  

  I also tried a few sandwiches with the no-cook convenience of Archie McPhee’s strawberry-flavored gummi bacon, but it was a bit too chewy for my taste. The sweetness of the strawberry was quite nice, though; a bit like a PLT.

  

  While you’re waiting for Mister Pig to render, it’s a good time to do your other prep. A mini BLT needs small bread. I thought about cutting up a larger sliced loaf, but feared the loss of crust on all four sides could lead to structural problems once the mayonnaise got to softening the bread. Instead, I reached for a baguette, choosing to slice it on the bias (French for “diagonal”) to make the slices a bit longer, since I intended to leave the bacon untrimmed.

  

  Slicing tomatoes is part of any BLT assembly process, but slicing lettuce isn’t. The combination of larger than average lettuce leaves and smaller than usual sandwiches requires it in this case. I sliced it to be just under the width of the mini bread slices.

  

  After prep’s done, and the bacon complete, you’re ready to assemble. Put mayonnaise on both slices of bread; it’s the glue that will hold the sandwiches together and enable one-handed eating. Bacon is next, followed by lettuce and tomato. Lettuce provides a moisture barrier between the juicy tomato and crisp bacon, and texture diversity is very important in a properly-made sandwich.

  

  In just a few minutes, you’ve got a bevvy of BLTs ready for the brewers. A toothpick helps keep everything in place while the mayo sets up. But the main question is, “can this BLT be eaten single-handed?” See you in Sweden, bitches! I’m gettin’ a Nobel!

  

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: Bacon Gumballs

  Posted: September 7th, 2009, 7:44am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  After bacon mints, we hoped we’d seen the end of novelty-inspired, bacon-flavored confections. Boy were we wrong. Seems like the gang at Archie McPhee’s been working overtime to fill out the rest of the bacon candy store. Unfortunately, it seems they’re spending more time coming up with candy ideas than they are on candy flavor refinement, as evidenced by these first time tasters’ reactions:

  
• 

  Bacon Week 2: It Begins

  Posted: September 6th, 2009, 7:03am CEST by Dave Selden

  

  You know what time it is? That’s right, it’s bacon time. I can tell, because I’m wearing a bacon watch. I showered this morning with bacon soap. I just mixed some pork belly with salt and brown sugar, in pursuit of some more homemade bacon.

  

  But I have a larger agenda for this year’s Bacon Week (some people will tell you bacon needs just one day of celebration, but they’re wrong). This year, I’d like to address something that’s bothered me for some time. Bacon as a food item has so much energy behind it. There are Facebook groups dedicated to it. Blogs. Books. T-shirts. No other food has inspired such devotion, or such great number of tchotchkes. As someone at the largest bacon tchotchke retailer once told me, when asked why bacon is so inspiring, “It’s a multisensory food. It’s got smell, texture, sound and taste rolled up into one.”

  And yet, bacon in most of our lives remains commodity. My neighborhood grocer carries just a few kinds, all variants on corporate bacon, anonymous, industrially-raised pigs, processed and packaged with low price as the primary goal. Meanwhile, the store carries more than 20 different types of honey, but you don’t see blogs being written about bee secretion. Wendy’s, maker of the infamous “Baconator,” uses pre-cooked, microwave-warmed bacon for its signature sandwich. Bacos™ are vegan. Let me repeat that for you. Bacos™ are VEGAN.

  Something is wrong, and my goal this week is two-fold: celebrate our favorite food, but also to expose the brighter side of pork, the small batch producer who cares as much (or more) for his animals and flavor as he does his bottom line. I’d like to call your attention to altruistic bacon. It exists, it’s tasty, and it’s worth seeking out. I hope you’ll stay tuned.

  
• 

  2009 Independence Day Beer Tasting

  Posted: July 7th, 2009, 4:25am CEST by Dave Selden

  In 2003, my wife and I bought our first house. We moved in on the weekend of July 4th, and as thank you to all the friends who pitched in on moving day, we held a barbecue on July 4th. Each year since, we’ve carried on this tradition. This year marked our sixth annual party, serving my “4-Day Ribs” and specialty “Red, White and Blue” burgers (the blue is blue cheese crumbles mixed into the ground beef).

  In the last several years, I’ve added a beer tasting component to the party. It’s a good chance to clear some space in the cellar, and a fun way to expose my friends to some “out there” beers.

  

  This year, the theme was “Us and Them.” In two flights, I asked participants to determine whether the beer they were tasting was an American or “global” example. I worried that the theme might be too easy, as American examples of most styles tend to be on the “11″ portion of the flavor volume dial, so I threw a few sneaky ones in.

  The first flight was IPA, and I tried to find a few non-American versions with amped-up hops, and a few American IPAs with toned-down hops. Here’s the lineup I threw out:

  1. Hair of the Dog Blu Dot Imperial IPA (2009), Portland, OR
  2. Meantime IPA, London, England
  3. Boulevard Double Wide IPA, Kansas City, MO
  4. Full Sail Sunspot IPA (2006, so the hops had mellowed WAY out), Hood River, OR
  5. St. Peter’s IPA, Suffolk, England

  From a field of about 20 entrants we had three winners, few of them beer geeks. Prizes were a bottle of the 2009 Hair of the Dog, a box of Bengal Potatos, and a Sam Adams “special beer glass” (that last one I was just trying to get rid of).

  

  I was most proud of the sour beer tasting held later in the afternoon. I was a little worried the beers might not go over well – few non-beer geeks have sampled the genre, and the taste is a little … unfamiliar, to say the least. I am proud to say that I converted at least one wine drinker!

  The lineup here was a little harder for consumers – as with the IPAs, the Belgian examples tend to be a little more refined and complex-tasting than their American cousins. But, the road is less traveled, and only the beer nerds in the group had tasted some of the examples more than once or twice. My lineup:

  1. La Duchesse de Bourgogne, Vichte, Belgium
  2. Russian River Consecration, Santa Rosa, CA
  3. Cascade Blackberry Ale, Portland, OR
  4. New Belgium Dark Kriek, Fort Collins, CO
  5. Rodenbach Grand Cru, Roeselare, Belgium

  The Duchesse and the Consecration were the standouts in my opinion, although the Grand Cru was very “sophisticated” tasting, maybe even too subtle for this red-blooded American. The oak of the Consecration was really apparent when compared to the others, but it’s not something I really noticed when I drank it on its own. And the Duchesse is beautiful, always.

  The prizes here included a New Belgium La Folie (a personal favorite), a New Belgium goblet, and a three-pack of sour candy I picked up at Freddies. As with most things in life, the lesson here is not to take yourself, or your beer, too seriously, as Dan Painter so boldly illustrated:

  

  Many thanks to Kari Hay for the photos. I was too busy pouring/drinking beer to document the day’s festivities!

  Past Tasting Themes:

  1. 2008: Red States vs. Blue States
  2. 2007: Red, White and Blue Beers

  
• 

  NAOBF 2009 Preview

  Posted: June 27th, 2009, 5:39pm CEST by Dave Selden

  North American Organic Beer Fest officially started yesterday, but I haven’t seen much in the way of reviews from other local beer bloggers. Perhaps, like me, they’re waiting until today to get down to Overlook Park.

  

  This is year three for the festival, which has quickly secured a place in my heart. There are a lot of beer festivals in Portland, particularly in June-July, and each has its merits. NAOBF is outdoors in a spacious local park, with easy access to transportation (there’s a Yellow MAX stop across the street from entrance). Kids are welcome, a surprisingly unique feature at most festivals (WTF, Zoo Brew?), and one I am newly appreciative of. There’s a stage with what I’d broadly call live “semipro” music. None of he bands I’ve seen have been remarkable, but they are a nice complement to the festival’s relaxed vibe. There’s usually an eclectic food cart area, too … everything from falafel to African food. In short, it’s the kind of beer festival that could only happen in Portland.

  There are more interesting beers on tap this year than last, so I’ve had to compile a shortlist.

  • Captured By Porches: Invasive Species IPA. This brewery started in the Clinton Street theater, and I haven’t tried an IPA from them yet. Should be interesting, as I hear this brewery steel bootstraps with the best of them.
  • Bison Brewing: Honey Basil Ale. I’ve long considered making a Rosemary IPA, so I’m curious to see how basil works in beer. Thai basil might be a nice variant.
  • Eel River: Acai Berry Wheat. I know nothing about this apparent health craze, but if you put vitamins in beer, I’ll likely take them.
  • Elliot Bay: Hop von Boorian, a Belgian IPA. Love the Belgian IPAs.
  • Fort George: Spruce Ale. This ale was brewed with fresh spruce tips gathered by brewery staff in the manner of Lewis & Clark. Can’t wait to try it, as I really, really like these guys. Check out our video interview and you’ll see why.
  • MateVeza: Yerba Mate IPA. I bought a bottle of their better-known Yerba Mate Pale awhile back, but a friend drank it before I could. Maybe it was fate telling me to try a hoppier version.
  • Nelson Brewing: Paddywhack & After Dark. File these under “maybe.” I enjoyed my trip to Vancouver, B.C. last year, but the beer wasn’t very impressive, and each bottle I brought back has held down my low opinion of the beer quality in our Northern cousin.
  • Oakshire: Watershed IPA. Don’t know much about this brewery, but I’ll try almost anything once.
  • Roots Gruit/Rotating Tap. I really hope the rumors about Roots closing aren’t true. I hope to get a taste of the medieval style of fruit beer and the answer to that question if I see Craig Nichols, Roots’ co-owner.
  • Sam Smith: Cherry Ale. Also in the “maybe” column. As in, “maybe one of my friends will try it and save me two tickets.” Saw this at QFC the other day and was tempted, but I fear it may be a sugar bomb.
  • Standing Stone: Double IPA. Hard to go wrong with this one. See our video interview with the brewer here.
  • Upright: Reggae Junkie Gruit & Seven. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I may be the last beer geek in Portland to try Alex Ganum’s newest incarnation. Open-fermentated beer!
  • Widmer: Teaser XPA. Call this a bonus. I’m generally a fan of Widmer’s more experimental efforts.

  The Weather Channel’s predicting a high of 84 today, which sounds like perfect beer drinking weather to me. Hope to see you there!

  
• 

  Bottling Stumptown Tart 2009

  Posted: June 23rd, 2009, 7:56am CEST by Dave Selden

  As a member of the ever more influential beerygentsia (a fancy word I just made up for beer blogger), we’re getting more and more perks. First there was the well-attended junket to Astoria. The free samples. The BBQ gear. Heck, we’re practically swimming in schwag over at BS HQ, probably because we’re so influential (take note, aspiring PR mavens).

  

  Last Friday morning (it’s tough work if you can get it), Bruce, Thom and I were granted backstage passes at the recent bottling of this year’s Stumptown Tart.

  

  The fine fellows from Green Bottling were hard at work on the 750 cases of 22’s (16 kegs are also being produced), a task they estimated would take just under seven hours. Bottles were flying as we chatted with Steve Bates, Bridgeport’s affable Packaging Manager (and a former Blitz Weinhardt employee) about the task.

  

  They first moved to the 22 oz. format with the original Hop Harvest as a way to better connect with the beer geek crowd, but also as a way to get additional shelf space in the coveted cold beer aisle. It seems six- and twelve-pack territory is pretty well defined, and it can be hard to get a new product into an already-crowded shelf. The 22 oz. area is much more conquerable territory, with shelf space changing nearly every time a new product is released since it tends to be dominated by seasonal offerings that come and go frequently.

  Rather than invest in a new bottling line (”Where would we put it?”), they’ve done what so many other Oregon breweries have done, and called in the specialists at Green Brewing when they want to step up from the 12 oz. format. Customers of Green include Laurelwood, New Old Lompoc, Southern Oregon Brewing and the lagerheads at Heater Allen, to name just a few. Don’t call it street cred, but it’s a move that’s paid off, according to Bridgeport, growing sales in their flagship beers in addition to selling out each of the beers released in the Big Brew series.

  And what about the beer? It’s tasty. They call it a cherry wheat, but this is nothing like what that name would suggest to this fruit beer skeptic (I’ve been burned so many times … and I’m looking at you, Cranberry Lambic!). It’s tart, with a really nice cherry and almond aroma, but not so very sweet. Perhaps it’s the 2,000 pounds of sour pie cherries it aged on for five weeks. Or maybe the beer’s time in oak chardonnay and pinot barrels mellowed some of the flavors out. Whatever it is, it works. I could actually see myself drinking a whole bottle of this, but at 8.3% abv, it’d probably be on a Friday night. The base beer is Fallen Friar, which wasn’t my favorite of the series, but the addition of a little wheat and a lot of cherries make this a refreshing summer treat.

  

  Of course, having Steve lead our backstage tour kept things from getting too geeky. No cassis notes were tasted or taken.

  When I asked Karl Ockert, Bridgeport’s Brewmaster, what type of glass he’d suggest for a beer like Stumptown Tart, Steve interjected “it comes in its own glass!” (If you’re not the “from the package” sort Karl suggests a goblet or red wine glass.) Awesome.

  Taste Stumptown Tart for yourself this Thursday, June 25 for the release party at the brewery. The label’s model, Bernie Dexter (somewhat NSFW), and Karl Ockert will both be on hand to autograph bottles or ask your lingerie questions. Who you ask what is up to you (and the amount of Stumptown Tart you’ve consumed).

  Bridgeport Brewing
  Thursday, June 25, 5:30 – 9:00 PM
  1313 NW Marshall, Portland

  
• 

  Dr. Wort … Unmasked!

  Posted: May 28th, 2009, 4:31pm CEST by Dave Selden

  Most of Portland’s beer geeks have speculated at one time or another as to the real identity of the infamous beer blogger known as Dr. Wort. His vitriolic posts have inflamed more than a few writers and readers, and sometimes the line between online “troll” and blog author has been a little blurry with this character/author.

  And while we appreciate his ability to avoid “sugar coating” issues, it is beer we’re talking about here, not Watergate secrets, and the pseudonym seems unnecessary. Honest reviews, while very much appreciated, shouldn’t start with dishonesty. Plenty of other bloggers are promoting honest reporting without hiding behind a nom de plume.

  For that reason, we’ve decided to reveal Dr. Wort’s true identity. Is it our job? Nope, but neither is blogging.

  Dr. Wort is Mike Winslow, a former California homebrewer who now resides in the Portland area. Fun fact: he won the old Guest on Tap column’s Steinbart’s gift certificate drawing (see first item under “Beer News”) a few years ago.

  How’d we discover his identity? We first assembled a list of what we knew about him, based on his own posts and comments on other blogs:

  • Dr. Wort is a homebrewer (seen in a homebrewing-related Facebook status shown in his blog’s sidebar)
  • Dr. Wort is/has been a beer judge (which he’s not afraid to tell you)
  • Dr. Wort lived in San Francisco at one time
  • Dr. Wort is/was involved in the medical field (related post)

  These facts provided some helpful background in doing a little Google detective work, but his own blog ultimately proved his downfall. Dr. Wort publishes a list of his favorite links in his sidebar (what, no link to BS Brewing, doc?), and one of the links is to the Homebrew Chef, aka Sean Paxton (thanks for using your real name, Sean!), someone who frequently comments on Dr. Wort’s posts. The Homebrew Chef’s link page provided us with our name (not the one we thought we’d find!):

  Dr. Wort’s Buzz – Northwest Brew perspective from Mike Winslow

  Seeing how the comments posted by the Homebrew Chef were pretty familiar-sounding, we felt confident the two writers were friends, and that the information could likely be trusted, but we dug a little deeper before revealing the name on Twitter late last night.

  A few google searches for “Mike Winslow” and some beer terms like “BJCP” and simply “beer Portland” eventually revealed an e-mail address (which I won’t divulge for spam reasons – just outing the guy, not trying to fill his inbox with spam … ). There aren’t too many in Portland’s beer scene we haven’t corresponded with at one time or another, and a quick inbox search revealed a few August 2007 messages from the e-mail address in question, signed affectionately, “Dr. Wort,” or simply, “DW.” The event he was organizing (the reason we were corresponding) didn’t happen, but it provided the confirmation we needed.

  What say you, Mike Winslow, alias Dr. Wort? We know you’ll keep up the straight reporting and no-holds-barred commentary, but now, you can proudly sign your real name to it.

  
• 

  Fatty Melt

  Posted: May 19th, 2009, 10:58pm CEST by Dave Selden

  Oh, my poor gut. The things I subject it to: Hamdogs, Turduckens, and Food Stadiums, oh my.

  Today I reached a new low after sampling Portland’s newest food fad, the Fatty Melt, aka the “YouCANHasCheeseburger.” Quite simply, it’s your basic 100% Black Angus cheeseburger, complete with lettuce, tomato, onions, ketchup and mustard. Only, instead of buns, substitute two grilled cheese sandwiches. One for the top bun, one for the bottom. I don’t even want to think about how many calories that is.

  

  The sandwich is available downtown at BrunchBox for the value- and calorie-heavy price of just $5. Breaking it down to its individual components, you’re looking at two one-dollar grilled cheese sandwiches straddling a three-dollar burger (take that, Carl’s Jr.). That’s enough to feed a very small family amply, or to put one “knowledge worker” on the fast train to Type II Diabetes.

  

  Of course, the calories only count if they are actually tasty. And in this case, they are. The crispness of the fried Texas Toast complements the crunch of the lettuce nicely, and the oozy cheese in each of the sandwiches meet the softened cheese atop the chewy beef patty in the tastiest triumvirate since the Dahm Triplets. It’s easy for food spectacles (or “Meat Stunts,” as we like to call them) to eschew good taste in pursuit of extremity, but this is one tasty sandwich, and I really don’t feel that gross. Not nearly as gross as I felt after I took on the Baconator.

  

  
• 

  Q&A with Bacontrepreneur Scott Kveton

  Posted: April 8th, 2009, 8:20am CEST by Dave Selden

  Recently, BS Brewing had a chance to sit down with internet bacon peddler Scott Kveton, to discuss his new business venture, bacn.com. Read on for ideas on starting your own web business in just 3 weeks with some friends, a garage full of freezers and a passion for salt pork. Or just to drool at the meat porn.

  BS Brewing: You’re known for your work with the Open ID project, and seem to have had much success in the web industry. How did you decide to become a bacon mogul?

  Scott Kveton: I’ve always been a big lover of bacon. Once Twitter and Facebook started to take off, friends would forward me bacon links which I’d retweet/post which of course perpetuated the whole thing. Next thing I know I’m surfing the web and come across the BS Brewing “Makin’ Bacon” post and the rest is kind of history. I started a website called “BaconGeek.com” and then about 3 months later Bacn.com. When we said we were going to sell bacon on the Internet we basically went from idea to store front in matter of 3 weeks. It all kind of happened really fast.

  BS: Bacn.com is a great url … I’m surprised it was still available. Did you just get lucky, or did you have to buy it on the secondary market? Have you tried to secure bacon.com as well?

  SK: My partners (@mtrichardson and @jasonglaspey) and I thought it would be cool to have a “Web 2.0″ on-line bacon store. The first rule of Web 2.0 is to drop some kind of vowel. We chose the “o”. Turns out the domain was available and Jason’s wife Holly had a great idea on the branding side of it. We looked into the bacon.com domain name but let’s just say this: that’s one expensive vowel.

  

  BS: There’s already a mail-order bacon site out there - what made you decide to get in the business?

  SK: There’s quite a few stores out there already but we thought there was still quite a bit of interesting things we could do in the space. One thing about buying bacon on the Internet is you don’t really know what you’re getting. So we try to augment the product pages with pictures and videos as well as good descriptions of the bacon people are thinking about buying. That and our “Bac’n of the Month Club” where we just make sure people can just click a big ole’ “give me awesome bacon” button and have it appear every month. That’s really starting to pickup steam.

  BS: In assembling your product list, I’m sure you’ve sampled quite a few. What’s your favorite bacon?

  SK: I gotta go with “Scott Ham’s Bacon.”

  This is serious bacon and not for the faint-of-heart. Its cured and has a strong, strong smoky smell to it; you can smell the box it ships in when the postman put its on the doorstep. The flavor is out of this
  world. Salty, savory and just plain good. This is the perfect bacon to mix into an omelet or salad as you don’t lose the flavor of the bacon.

  BS: Have you tried a bacon that wasn’t worthy of being sold on bacn.com?

  SK: Absolutely. There is a lot of crappy bacon out there. That was one of the reasons we started the site. Somebody Twittered me and said “You have to try this bacon … drop everything and spend the $40 for 2 package to get this to your house.” Being a total lemming, I did just that. When it arrived a few days later I had this Pavlovian response to taking the package from the mail person. It was akin to something I
  would imagine Home Simpson doing. Unfortunately, when I cooked it up, it was awful. It was then that I realized that not everybody knows what good bacon is. After a few months of research, it became clear
  that not all good bacon is known. Bacn.com is all about helping us spread the word about the best bacon out there.

  (I’ll refrain from sharing the name of the product; suffice it to say we don’t carry it).

  

  BS: You have some great bacon clothing on the site now. Do you design the t-shirts yourself?

  SK: We’ve designed a few of the t-shirts but we’ve found that other people are way better at it. Instead of trying to be the wittiest bacon people out there, we instead opt for licensing shirts and designs from other people and offering them on the site. They win, we win and most importantly; people are wearing more bacon shirts than ever.

  BS: You were a judge in Bacon Camp in San Francisco. What other bacon honors have you received?

  SK: Most likely to die before 40. I kid, I kid.

  BS: What was the best bacon dish you tried at Bacon Camp? The worst?

  SK: Hands down the best was the Bacone … deep fried cone of bacon filled with cheese scrambled eggs covered with country gravy and topped with a fresh biscuit. Umm. OMG. Good.

  Worst? That’s easy, the “bacon brownies” that were inspired (I kid you not) by somebody looking at one of their #2’s in the toilet. “That looks like a bacon brownie!” Let’s just say the judges scored it poorly.

  

  BS: The bacon meme grows stronger every day … What’s the weirdest bacon-related thing you’ve ever seen on the internet or otherwise?

  SK: Wow. That’s a toughy. Needless to say, I have to go with the “bacon egg” that was at BaconCamp SF. These guys came out of nowhere and created this crazy ass egg with raw bacon. The process was astounding and everyone was amazed with this thing. Very cool.

  ">

  BS: Why do you think bacon has achieved such notoriety/infamy? What has it got that ham/prosciutto/jerky doesn’t?

  SK: Bacon is the only thing that people put on something else to make it taste better. Ham, proscuitto and all the others are good but there’s just something about the greasy, smoky, salty flavor of bacon that makes everything better.

  BS: Ever tried making your own bacon?

  SK: Inspired by none other than the BS Brewing blog, I’ve made my own bacon a few times and I love it. I bought a little cheapy water smoker on Craigslist for $20, got the belly at Gartner’s and the rest is history. I love making bacon and am looking forward to doing so a bunch more this summer. I smell a collaboration coming on … :-)

  BS: What’s next for bacn.com? Any new products we should be watching for?

  SK: We’ve got a whole bunch of new products about to hit as well as a few interesting “other” bacon related things. We’re going to be launching our own brand of bacon as well in the coming weeks so keep an eye out for that.

  
• 

  Standing Stone Brewing: Stand UP Guys

  Posted: March 24th, 2009, 7:16am CET by Dave Selden

  Editor’s note: we’re still sorting out all the content from our Bay Area beer trip - it’s taken a bit longer than we thought, but it’s coming. Again, we’ll put together a centralized list of all our stops, in chronological order, when we’re all through.

  We got into Ashland a little late on the first night of our beer trip, mostly due to an unplanned stop in Eugene for a sit-down dinner (I thought we’d fast food it). After checking into 4 rooms at the Bard’s Inn, it was already 11:30, but we rushed over to Standing Stone Brewing anyway, since it was the first real stop of our trip. I’d e-mailed the brewery ahead of time (that’s how I got the hotel recommendation), but Thursday looked to be a pretty sleepy night in Ashland, and I wasn’t sure they’d still be open.

  In fact, they were just about to lock the front door when 8 thirsty guys from Portland showed up. As our ringleader, I asked if we could sneak one beer in, and Adam, brewer, bartender, and all around nice guy, said yes.

  

  We had the entire place to ourselves, but Adam poured us a round and answered questions for at least a half-hour. Talk ranged from their brewery size (tiny but impressively well-built, beautiful, really) to their energy saving efforts (solar panels on the roof, capturing heat from the brewing process), all while making us feel welcome and unrushed as we drank our excellent beers.

  

  I had the Double IPA, which was a great way to start the trip - it’s a true West-coast style IPA, with tons of hop bitterness backed up by a healthy dose of alcohol and a nice floral character on the aroma. But don’t let me tell you about it: listen to Adam. He’s the Brewer (and a stand-up guy).

  
• 

  Broken Shard IPA: A ChardonnIPA

  Posted: March 15th, 2009, 9:07pm CET by Dave Selden

  When we took our beery road trip to Northern California last month, one of the most unusual beers we sampled along the way was an oak-aged Hop Rod Rye at Bear Republic. They’d taken their standard brew, and cellared it for a bit in some old Chardonnay barrels. The bartender didn’t like the beer (said he was ashamed to be serving it), but I found it pretty interesting. The tartness of the chardonnay and big oaky notes paired well with the fruity, somewhat dry Rye IPA.

  Yesterday, I brewed my own version inspired by the Bear Republic one. I considered a few options for getting Chardonnay in the beer:

  1. Chardonnay juice added to cooled wort: this is the option I eventually went with. It seemed like the most true to the idea of a hybrid wine/beer. I would have preferred un-concentrated juice, freshly pressed, but I don’t know of a good source for that. Perhaps another time.
  2. Bottle of Chardonnay added to fermented beer before bottling. This seemed like a good option, as I could have a high degree of control in the blending, but it seemed a bit like cheating.
  3. Age beer on Chardonnay-soaked oak chips. I’ve tried this successfully with Maker’s Mark Whiskey before in my “Bourbon Spice Mystery Ale,” and been pleased with the results, if not the timeline. To retain the source flavor (whiskey), the chips need to be soaked a long time, perhaps 2 months or more. Didn’t have that much time this time.
  4. Adding a bottle of non-alcoholic Chardonnay to wort before fermenting. I don’t know enough about how NA wine is made to know if there is fermentable sugar in there, and wasn’t willing to take the risk of a too-sweet IPA. Perhaps another option if this attempt doesn’t work well.

  Here’s the full recipe:

  • 2 lbs. 40 L caramel malt
  • 1 lb. 80 L caramel malt, steeped with the 40L at 150 degrees F for 30 minutes
  • 7 pounds extra-light malt extract added just before boil
  • 3/4 oz. Cascade hops, boiled 60 minutes (I thought the citrusy flavor of this hop would pair well with the Chardonnay, and used lightly, adds a “basic” bitter element)
  • 3/4 oz. Cascade hops, boiled 15 minutes
  • 2 oz. Amarillo hops, boiled 5 minutes (Amarillo is my favorite aroma hop for IPA, with a ton of floral aroma)
  • 2 pinches Irish Moss for clarity (don’t see too many cloudy wines)
  • 2 pinches Wyeast Yeast Nutrient (since I’d be asking the yeast to do double-duty)
  • 1/2 46 oz. can Alexander’s Pinot Chardonnay Extract, added to cooled wort

  I pitched Wyeast 1388 Belgian Strong Ale once the wine extract had been mixed into the wort, which I selected based on the manufacturer’s description: “Fruity nose and palate, dry, tart finish.”

  I plan on oaking the beer in secondary fermentation with some new American oak chips, for perhaps 2-3 weeks. I don’t want it to be tooooo oak-y, but that would be true to the Chardonnay spirit, so we’ll see.

• 

  Bottleworks Seattle

  Posted: March 5th, 2009, 7:34am CET by Dave Selden

  Sometimes I forget how spoiled I am to live in Portland. We’ve got not one, not two, but three pretty fantastic beer stores in city limits, and even the grocery stores get special releases from breweries like Full Sail, Deschutes and even smaller local brewers like Laurelwood and New Old Lompoc. Great beer is everywhere, on premises and off.

  I remember how spoiled I am when I leave Portland. Although I recently found a good place in my hometown of Des Moines, Iowa, most places I travel to have a real dearth of quality beer stores that treat beer properly and carry a significant number of bottles.

  

  I recently found a gem of a beer store in Seattle’s Wallingford neighborhood: Bottleworks, a beer store that launched Brouwer’s Cafe, another Seattle favorite. They don’t have near the selection of Belmont Station, jammed as they are in a narrow storefront lined with coolers. But what they lack in space, they make up for in creativity.

  

  Bottleworks had several custom six-packs on offer, one of which was the Thomas Hardy vertical shown above. You have to love the hand-written custom wrapper on the six-pack holder, but more than that, you have to admire the passion and care that stockpiles enough Thomas Hardy to offer six years’ worth at the pretty reasonable price of $49.99. They also had a 6-year vertical of Sierra Nevada’s Bigfoot available.

  

  The vintage offerings weren’t limited to verticals, either. In fact, they had several atypical vintage beers available, ones that I have never seen or heard of being aged before: Urthel’s Hop-It, and Saison Dupont, to name a few. I thought it was especially cool that they hand-wrote the dates on the bottles since both those examples don’t include the date in any easily-discernible fashion.

  Once again, this was a bit of a dangerous find, but a fun one. I ended up carrying a case of beer about four blocks, which tired me out, but has proven to be a worthwhile pursuit. As a matter of fact, I’m sipping on a 2003 Sierra Nevada Bigfoot as I write this … and a 2009 awaits. If you’re curious, you can follow my progress on our newish twitter feed …

• 

  Caldera Brewing, Ashland, Oregon

  Posted: February 10th, 2009, 11:38pm CET by Dave Selden

  Editor’s note: we’re going to be posting recaps of all our Bay Area beer stops over the next week or so, but they won’t likely be in chronological order as we aggregate content from about 5 cameras, 3 twitter feeds, and four Flip MinoHD. We’ll put together a central list of our stops in order sometime, but bear with us as we get the content out first and foremost.

  Day two of our San Francisco beer trip had us departing Ashland for northern California, but not before hitting Caldera Brewing. I’d e-mailed ahead of time, hoping to secure a tour. Like Portland’s Hair of the Dog, Caldera makes some great beers, but they don’t have much of a tasting area, and they’re not in what I’d call a real tourist area. It proved to be worth the effort, though, as Caldera ended up being one of our favorite stops on the trip.

  

  When we arrived, Brewer Todd was in the thick of things, working on a batch of Ashland Amber. Even though he was the only one working, he was a gracious host, handing each of us a glass before returning to the 10- barrel brew kettle, adding as he gestured toward the array of taps, “You guys know what to do with those, right?”

  Yeah, I’m pretty sure we do, Todd. Take your time.

  In an attempt to take one for the team, I went for the Ginger Beer (contains alcohol) first, a decision I was pleasantly surprised with. Unlike Laughing Buddha’s super-sweet-soda-pop version, this one had a nice, dry finish with well-balanced ginger. A great crisp start to my beer drinking for the day.

  

  While Todd brewed, we wandered around the brewery, discovering interesting bits at every turn, including this bit of brewer’s wisdom.

  

  Every few minutes, Todd would step away from the brewing and show us another nook or cranny of the building. When he returned to the kettle, we’d fill up on beer and wander around. Here’s Nate posing with either the Smoker’s Stout or the Old Growth Imperial Stout (my favorite of the two, it includes pink peppercorns, licorice and chocolate in the brew, none of which are very prominent). How do you think the tour’s going?

  

  The brewery includes the usual array of fermenters, pipes, hoses and wet floor, but I’d never been in a beer vault before. Floor to ceiling kegs and cans - I asked if I could sleep there overnight, but thought better of it when I glanced at a thermometer on the wall that read 40 degrees. I guess the Old Growth was keeping me warm inside.

  

  Caldera is probably best known for two things:

  1. Their Dry Hop Orange (regularly on tap at the Horse Brass), and
  2. Their cans, which we wrote a bit about last week.

  The canning line was quite a bit smaller than I’d imagined, and looked a lot more DIY. In total, it was probably about 20 feet long, and looked as though it would can about 10 beers at a time.

  

  Empty cans are open at the top to accomodate filling, and then the pull-tab lid is crimped on by machine. The “fishnets” are applied by hand at the end. Todd noted that he tried to schedule his brew days when there was canning going on so he could avoid the noisy task.

  

  Todd also let us in on a few tidbits while we were wandering around. Firstly, Caldera intends to start bottling some special releases in 22s later in the year. Secondly, they will begin canning their Ashland Amber sometime in the next few months. Here’s a sneak peek at the label.

  

  We were only there for about 45 minutes, but Todd really made a good impression, showing us around with a smile, and answering more than a few dumb questions. It was really inspirational to see how DIY Caldera Brewing really was, and how hard they work to bring their beer to market. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the tasting notes, and forget the people that make the beers we drink possible. Thanks for a great tour, Todd. Stay awesome.

• 

  San Francisco, Here We Are

  Posted: February 7th, 2009, 6:11pm CET by Dave Selden

  Rolled into the city last night around 7 PM courtesy of Thom’s mad driving skills and the Bay Bridge. There was a fair amount of thirst accumulated, thanks to our stop at In and Out in Redding, where Jay sampled the “Animal Fries” and Dan took down TWO double-doubles.

  After checking into the hotel (where our car proved too giant for the valet lot), we wasted no time setting out for Toronado. Per usual, it was jam-packed, but the legendary beer list didn’t disappoint. I sampled “Original Albion,” on tap to commemorate San Francisco Beer Week, based on the original recipe from New Albion Brewing, one of California’s first microbreweries. A fairly standard pale ale, but well made and interesting to taste. Next, I tried Pliny the Elder on tap, amazing as always, and other folks tried Pliny the Younger. I made a mistake going for the oldster - the Younger came in a goblet and tasted like hop heaven. Echt Kriekenbier from Verhaege was also on tap. Interesting to sample this from a keg - it did taste a little metallic compared to the bottled version I tried a few weeks ago.

  And after Toronado? There was some barbecue, some bar-hopping, and ultimately, absinthe (washed down with Houblon Chouffe IPA) … a very SF night that I am paying for this morning. Some Advil should help, I think. On to Bear Republic, Russian River and Moylan’s! The show must go on!

• 

  Snack Bowl XXXL: The Greatest Food Stadium Ever

  Posted: February 2nd, 2009, 11:46pm CET by Dave Selden

  Yesterday, as you may have heard, was Superbowl Sunday. In years past, we’ve used Superbowl Sunday as an excuse to try out some insane food: In 2006, we made The Hamdog. In 2007, it was La Caja China. Last year, we decided to give our hearts (and our wives) a rest, and just went the traditional typical Doritos/Chili/Drunken Husband route.

  This year, we knew we needed a comeback. And a week ago, the neccessary inspiration arrived, in the form of Holy Taco’s “Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built.” Most people would look at that, chuckle, and click on by. But Nate and I recognized the implicit challenge in that statement. “Ever?” we wondered. “We’ll see about that.”

  You see, Holy Taco’s stadium has some critical flaws, the first of which is that Twinkie’s are disgusting. They make a good building material because no one wants to eat them - structural integrity is guaranteed. Secondly, the whole microwave bacon barrier they have going is gross. Even Wendy’s has better bacon. And what’s with all the pre-pack dips? If you’re making a food stadium, MAKE the food stadium.

  We set to work Sunday morning, assembling the neccessary ingredients. 5 loaves of bread for the stadium walls. 2 kinds of tortilla chips. 2 kinds of crackers. 7 avacados, 3 tomatoes and 2 jalapenos for the guacamole. 2 aluminum pans. Pepperoni sticks. Toothpicks, lots and lots of toothpicks.

  

  Another flaw in Holy Taco’s plan: it was built in situ. We needed to get our creation to a party later in the afternoon, so portability was critical. We found a large piece of plywood, and seamed the aluminum pans together on top, tacking them in place. We then covered the whole thing in tinfoil.

  

  We substituted bread slices for the Twinkies, ringing them around in a shape somewhere between an oval and a rectangle. We used toothpicks to secure each slice to its mates, stabbing it down through four layers of bread once the wall was complete.

  

  The inner wall proved a little more challenging. We ended up taking the Wasa crackers, high in fiber and thus structure, and wedged them between toothpicks that we embedded into the plywood with the help of a DeWalt drill. The result was surprisingly stable - more than strong enough to restrain the throngs of Chex mix and tortilla chips we were expecting.

  

  Things started moving pretty quickly once the basic structure was established. I filled the stands with chips and homemade Chex mix (Store-bought party mix? Are you kidding?), while Nate laid the sausage and cheese sidelines and Sarah made guacamole.

  

  The sidelines established, we moved onto the field, cementing a Club cracker border with Easy Cheese, a surprisingly (eerily) good adhesive. Nate laid in the homemade Spinach dip, kept separate from the guacamole with another row of crackers.

  

  Sarah then field the alternating rows with homemade guacamole, completing the playing/eating surface. Nate began work on the players. Black olives for the Steelers, and white mini-mozarella balls for the Cardinals. Giddy laughter nearly brought us to tears by this point, as the enormity of our accomplishment drew closer.

  

  We made goalposts out of the Tillamook Beef Sticks, and called it good. Our masterpiece completed in under 2 hours, we celebrated with a bottle of Unibroue’s Raftman, “brewed to commemorate the legendary courage of the forest workers.” Not sure if we count as forest workers, but our courage was legendary. Hell, Nate made the Hungarian sausage used for the players’ bodies.

  

  It was breathtaking, from the heights of its sausage flags to its guacamole/spinach dip playing surface. (If you want a closer look, here’s a desktop-background-sized version.)

  

  The verdict? I’ll let the picture tell the story.

  

• 

  The Essen Haus: Returning to the Scene of the Crime

  Posted: January 27th, 2009, 6:47am CET by Dave Selden

  December 31, 1998. I’m shy of my 21st birthday, but I am carrying an ID that says I was born Christmas Eve, 1975. I’m visiting Madison, Wisconsin for the very first time, courtesy of my roommate Brian, a Wisconson native. After the requisite dinner with his parents, the two of us and a few of his friends and/or the younger generation of his family adjourn for more alcoholic waters, landing at one of Brian’s favorite Madison watering holes: the Essen Haus. It’s New Year’s Eve, it’s snowing, and I have no idea what I’m in for.

  

  

  We enter from the parking lot, through the heavy double doors serving as the main entrance. My first clue that this is an unusual bar comes with the blast of heat cutting through the winter chill, and my heavily-insulated ears detect what sounds like … polka?

  I am a native Iowan, composed of equal parts Swedish and German heritage, but of that uniquely American kind that contains not a trace of its original ethnic roots. The closest I ever got to ethnic food as a kid was when we ate pizza. We rarely had bratwurst, let alone spaetzle or some of the other German foods I’ve since come to savor. But I am getting ahead of myself …

  

  The music, which we’ve now confirmed is polka, increases in volume as we near the bar, and it feels as though we’ve walked into a party in full swing. A serious party. There is beer EVERYWHERE … in mugs large and small, in pitchers, and … in boots. Glass boots. BIG glass boots. “I want one.” My genes are tingling.

  

  As we settle into a long table near the musicians, a waitress approaches in full German barmaid costume. “Is this heaven?” Again I feel my heritage stirring. At least I think that’s my heritage.

  We pony up for a boot of something alcholic, liquid, golden and German, but we have to fork over an $80 deposit before they’ll leave the container in our raucous trust. Doing some quick calculations, I decide that my checking account is probably up to the challenge, as is my liver. I don’t recall running into “the bubble” encountered in the movie Beer Fest, but things became a little blurry after downing the two liters of alcohol that tradition dictates must not touch the table.

  

  The blurrier things got, the more at home I felt. The accordians! The feathered caps! The beautiful blondes in cleavage-enhancing dirndls! This was my long-lost heritage! I was home!

  As bar closing approached, I grew alternately happier and sadder. I loved this place, but I was going to have to leave it, to return who knew when? I began to contemplate a souvenir, something to remind me of my newly-discovered Motherland. As the alcoholic fog set in, boldness descended, and I realized there were souvenirs EVERYWHERE. On the walls, above my head … everywhere I looked there were hundreds, no, THOUSANDS of mugs. Surely they wouldn’t miss one, right? But one mug would be lonely, right? Perhaps one mug might like a friend to keep him company in my cupboard, so far away in Iowa.

  

  I removed two mugs from the wall as surreptitiously as my impaired limbs would allow, tucking one under each arm beneath my heavy winter coat, seemingly designed specifically for this task - I had found my heritage, and my coat had found its special purpose! When my friends were ready, I led the way, striding carefully toward the door just 10 feet, 8 feet, now 6 feet, now BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

  I hadn’t noticed the retail store-style metal detectors on the way in, but I was aware of them now, as was everyone else in the bar. I rushed out the door as fast as I could, but as my feet reached freedom, my shoulder was slowed by a strong arm trying to keep me in the door. Momentum carried me outside, but I was followed closely by the doorman, who didn’t look happy.

  “If this were anything but New Year’s Eve, I would have your ass in jail right now.”

  “Uhh, sorry.”

  “Give me the mug.”

  I carefully removed one of the mugs from beneath my coat, handing it to him sheepishly.

  “I never forget a face, and you are NOT welcome back here. If I ever see you here again, I will call the police.”

  As he turned his back and re-entered the bar, I spun and took a step in the opposite direction, my heart beating double-time, feeling proud of my apparent misdirection. So smart, so bold, so … CRASH. The remaining mug slipped from under my arm, shattering on the frozen asphalt.

  I didn’t think. I ran.

  

  And that was the last time I visited the Essen Haus, until last weekend, when I returned for Brian’s wedding. The doorman wasn’t there (he probably wouldn’t have recognized me anyway given my gray hair), but the atmosphere inside was just as I remembered it. Warm (especially compared to the -8 temperature outside), festive, beery. I came alone, but I felt comfortable sitting among the people at the bar, my people.

  The metal detectors were gone, but the mugs were still mostly there. Some careful conversations with the bartender confirmed that more than a few of them have walked out over the years, replaced by new ones. Apparently of the thousands covering the ceilings, very few are used regularly, most purchased decades ago and abandoned like so many good intentions.

  The boots are mostly plastic now, though a few glass vessels remain. The deposits have disappeared with the glass, though. On Thursday nights, UW students stream in for $14 2L boots, and they no longer have to check their account balances before sharing their beer-filled footwear with the table. School was out when I visited, so the place was a little slow, but the spirits were still as high as I remembered them, as you can see in this very brief video I shot with my new Mino HD of the house band and bar staff. Prost!

  Oh, and by way of restoring my karmic balance sheet, I’ll personally donate $2 to Mercy Corps for every comment this post receives (limit $200). Hopefully that covers the mug. ;)

• 

  Yes We Can (Drink Good Beer from a Can)

  Posted: January 26th, 2009, 7:17am CET by Dave Selden

  A change is coming to this country. After many years, we’re being asked to change the way we see the world, to embark on a new chapter, one of hope, one of faith, but most importantly, one of deep reflection. The status quo hasn’t worked. Our collective attitude has proven costly, wasteful, and arrogant. It’s time for something new.

  Oh, you thought I was talking about Obama? Yeah, he’s great. But this is a beer blog. Sure, we had an inauguration party last Tuesday, celebrating this new chapter in America’s history, but we also toasted another change: craft beer in cans.

  Sure, beer has come in cans for a long time. As a matter of fact, the first beer can went on sale 74 years ago yesterday. The big guys have been doing it for years, with Coors adding such features as the chug-friendly “vented wide-mouth” and dubiously scientific “frost-brewed liner” to the form.

  

  Until 2002, American beer in cans meant one thing: lagers, low on flavor, iced down so cold as to be tasteless. Oskar Blues brewing company in Colorado changed all that when they started releasing their craft beers in cans. It made good financial sense: glass is very expensive as a material, very heavy, and very fragile. Aluminum is cheap, light, and durable. Advances in liner materials prevented the beer from coming in contact with the aluminum the cans are made of, preventing the metallic taste synonymous with cheap beer.

  I especially enjoyed the “Gordon,” a double IPA that reminded me of Hair of the Dog’s sweetish Blu Dot, but in a smaller form factor (which worked out well given its 8.7% abv).

  Other breweries followed, and today, Cask Brewing Systems of Canada lists 41 US craft brewers as customers on their web site, including Oregon’s own Caldera Brewing Company in Ashland, makers of Caldera Pale Ale and the colorfully-canned camping trip standby Caldera IPA, modeled here by one Kevin Platt.

  

  As a frequent beer traveller, I appreciate cans for their portability; every time I visit Minnesota, I make sure to pick up a few cans of Surly Brewing’s Furious and Bender (still waiting for Darkness to make its way to a can …), and toss them confidently in my checked luggage. When I bring home glass-encased beer, I always feel as if I’m playing Russian Roulette - I know it’s only a matter of time before my wedding suit is splashed in IPA.

  Exhibit A: The two six-packs of canned craft beer that arrived on my doorstop last week, courtesy of 21st Amendment in San Francisco. Were they wrapped in plastic? Wound with bubble wrap? Triple-bagged for my protection? Hell, no! The cans came in a hastily-packed cardboard box with mere beer coasters for protection, and a handful of packing peanuts thrown in, more garnish than packing material. Cans intact? 100% survived the trip. Contrast that with my shipment of Belgian bottles, highly padded, dishonestly-labeled, and ultimately, broken in transit.

  I was surprised by the Watermelon Wheat, having avoided it at the last three Oregon Brewers’ Festivals. I assumed it was a syrupy sweet fruit bomb designed for the sorority girl crowd, but it was surprisingly dry with strong watermelon aroma, and an almost vegetal bitterness that reminded me of rind. A bit light for winter drinking, but I can’t wait to try one this summer.

  

  The true judge of the format, though? The people. And I’d say they had a pretty good time if the below photo is any measure. I noticed a funny thing on the way to this beer review: people were having a really good time with the canned beer. I host a fair number of beer tastings, and I sometimes sense some tension around the margins of the events - perhaps a fear of appearing unsophisticated? This time, even the less beer-experienced seem to really enjoy the wide variety of flavors (Watermelon Wheat, anyone?) now available in cans. I think the format is just a little more fun than people are used to having with something so delicious. Sometimes, it’s a good thing to put down the fancy stemware and get back to basics.

  

  Oh, and it’s a lot easier to clean up after a canned beer party than a glassy one.

• 

  Beer Crazy in Iowa

  Posted: January 3rd, 2009, 4:58am CET by Dave Selden

  What if I told you that there was a magical place where you could buy single bottles of hundreds of craft beers in bottles ranging from 12 ounces to 750ml? What if I told you that place had a walk-in beer color that carried these same beers at ready-to-drink temperatures? What if I told you this place also had brewing supplies, from liquid yeast to propane burners? What if I told you that this magical place was in Iowa?

  Why, you’d call me Beer Crazy.

  

  Beer Crazy is no Belmont Station, but it is pretty impressive by midwest standards. As a rule, most places I’ve visited in Iowa are loathe to break up a six-pack, even higher-end grocery stores (don’t even think about asking at a liquor store). Sure, you can buy a tall-boy of Bud Icy Freeze at the suggestively-named Kum-N-Go (believe it!), but ask to make a mixed six at Gateway Market, and the clerks look at you as if you’d asked to borrow a puppy for target practice.

  Cleverly hidden away in a strip mall in suburban Urbandale, Iowa, Beer Crazy stocks a wide variety of brews, from Belgian standards like Chimay and Duvel, but really shines in their regional offerings. I made up a couple of six-packs containing beers from Bell’s (Michigan), Left Hand (Colorado), Breckenridge (Colorado), Fort Colins (Colorado), Millstream (Amana, Iowa), Old Capitol (Iowa City, Iowa), Boulevard (Kansas City, MO), and Brau Brothers (Lucan, Minnesota).

  Of these, the Bell’s beers were far and away my favorites. I picked up some Kalamazoo Stout (had a dry smokiness I wasn’t expecting, but enjoyed), Special Double Cream Stout (again, a little on the dry side, and a wee bit bitter, but tasty), Christmas Ale (similar to Bridgeport’s Ebeneezer, a little spicy on a malty dark base, maybe a bit weaker), and my go-to Midwest IPA: Two Hearted Pale Ale (fabulous in a bottle, even better on tap).

  

  I didn’t explore the homebrew supplies too much, but from what I could see, there was a robust selection of yeast in a sliding-door cooler, and about 20 feet of equipment on shelves 8-10 feet high, and an equal amount of ingredient/kit storage. It’s no Portland/St. Paul homebrew store, but what it lacks in homebrew supplies, it more than makes up for by selling delicious craft brew on premises.

  

  I don’t want to get my mom too excited by saying so, but Des Moines is getting a heck of a lot more livable than it used to be, with great beer bars like El Bait Shop and the Red Monk, and a really uniquely awesome combination bottle/homebrew store in Beer Crazy. I’ll definitely be back (to visit).

• 

  Midwestern Tour 2009

  Posted: December 23rd, 2008, 8:27pm CET by Dave Selden

  I’m here in Iowa visiting family for the holidays. I’ve been sampling quite a few new brews, with trips to El Bait Shop and a new (to me) bottle shop in Urbandale called “Beer Crazy.” I’ve not got the patience for a full post on the iPhone, but you can whet your appetite via our Twitter feed until I get back to my keyboard. Happy Holidays!

• 

  BS Brewing’s Last-Minute Online Gift Guide

  Posted: December 14th, 2008, 9:44pm CET by Dave Selden

  Holy shit, it’s the 14th of December! There are less than two weeks before Christmas/Hannunkah! We should have written this post weeks ago (apparently we were too busy twittering to look at the calendar)!

  We bet there are a few folks out there with an uncrossed name on their list, and in the interest of helping your holiday productivity, we present our top quick-shipping picks for the beer/bacon-lover on your list this year:

  Vintage Beer Commercials on DVD

  Ahh, the 1950s. Every day we wish we could hop in our time machine and thank them for the magic they gave us: White Bread, Well-Defined Gender Roles, and of course, the Swilly Beer Monopoly. We can’t taste all the beers that the American Lager machine put out of business in the last 50 years, but we can at least watch their commercials, thanks to some obsessive compulsive AV club nerd.

  $14.95. Order by December 17th at: BeerBooks.com

  Rogue/Vosges Beer & Bacon & Chocolate Gift Pack

  While we haven’t been Rogue’s biggest fans of late (join our Facebook petition!), we do admire some of their beers, and we love chocolate. And bacon. Oddly enough, this gift pack covers all three bases with an included bottle of Rogue’s Shakespeare Stout and a bacon chocolate bar. No, really. There’s delicious bacon IN the chocolate. Try it, you’ll like it. We did.

  $42.00. Available at: Vosges.com

  Vintage Beer Posters

  

  It’s a dilemma. You love the look of vintage beer posters but you’re not a Guinness fan. We wouldn’t know, we actually like Guinness, but hey, it’s the holidays, and who are we to judge? Plaster your walls with a selection of nearly 100 non-Guinness beer posters dating from the 1900s to 1950s.

  $22.95. Order by December 17th at: BeerBooks.com

  40 Cozy

  There are so many beer accessories out there … What can you get the beer lover who has everything? This year, we want you to think maltier. Think liquor-ier. Think malt liquor-ier. Enter the 40 Cozy, a very classy neoprene sleeve that keeps your hands warm while you’re chilling. It also keeps your “beer” cold while you drink it. We think this would be an especially great gift for the Edward 40 Hands afficianado in your life.

  $8.99. Available at: 40cozy.com

  Imbibe Magazine Subscription

  In the interest of full disclosure, we should probably tell you that we know the Circulation Manager of this magazine. In fact, we taught her to homebrew. But our conflict of interest shouldn’t stop you from subscribing to this magazine dedicated to “Liquid Culture.” They cover beer, wine, spirits, coffee and tea in nearly equal parts, which we think is actually kind of nice. You see (and I know this is going to sound sacrilegious), life is about more than just beer. We drink coffee every day. And who doesn’t like a little scotch to close out the night? Get some perspective, and some bang-up reporting, from Imbibe.

  $20.00 for 1-year Subscription. Available at: ImbibeMag.com

  Good Beer Guide to the West Coast

  This is the book we wish we’d written. Two British CAMRA members, Ben McFarland and Tom Sandham, compiled what is easily the best collection of Portland beer knowledge I’ve ever seen, and expanded the book to include the ENTIRE WEST COAST, including sections on Alaska, and even a section on the eerie beer wasteland that is Las Vegas. Essential for any West Coast beer trips.

  $18.45. Available at: Amazon.com

  Michael Jackson’s Great Beers of Belgium

  Belgium is awesome. I mean, they serve Duvel on the trains. You can have the world’s greatest beer AND smoke a cigarette, in a monastery. They get it. You know who else gets it? Michael Jackson. Sure, he died in 2007, but his books live on, and Great Beers of Belgium, re-issued post-humously, deserves to be on your beery bookshelf. Each page is a revelation, be it an amazing photograph, lively personal narrative, or informative tidbit. I read about beer quite a bit. Other authors seem to be rewording the same factoids from book to book … I’ve learned more new things from 100 pages of this book than almost any other. Highly recommended.

  $24.39. Available at: Amazon.com

  Beervana Documentary

  Portland is pretty awesome, too. We’ve got more breweries in our city limits than any other in the world (Suck it, Munich!). It might be the water. It could be the perfect hop-growing conditions that exist in the Willamette Valley. Whatever the cause, brewing’s been a big deal in Portland for more than 100 years, all of which are documented in this great, locally-produced documentary.

  $19.95. Available at: OPB.org

  Bacon Diagram T-Shirt

  You didn’t think you would get through a BS Brewing post without a second bacon reference, did you? Until we get our “cuts of pork” tattoo, this t-shirt will have to do, serving two delicious purposes: educating the unwashed masses about where our favorite food comes from, and establishing us as bacon enthusiasts. We do find it ironic that the makers would choose an American Apparel fitted t-shirt as the canvas for a fatty meat-themed shirt.

  $20. Available at: BaconShirts.com